- In Brief
- In Depth
- Rationale: Dignity
- Why should we dwell on the significance of head-covering? Isn't Halacha enough?
- How should we relate to perceptions about head-covering that no longer seem to apply?
- Rationale: Modesty
- Meaning: Marital Status
- Why should head covering function as a sign of marital status?
- Meaning: Awe
- Meaning: Identification
- Further Reading
- Notes
- Sources
- Q&A
- Why should we dwell on the significance of head-covering? Isn't Halacha enough?
- How should we relate to perceptions about head-covering that no longer seem to apply?
- Why should head covering function as a sign of marital status?
- Podcast
What explanations for the mitzva of head-covering emerge from the sources? What other meanings might a woman find in the mitzva?
In Brief
What could be the reasoning behind the mitzva of head-covering?
- Dignity A married woman covering her head in public was once such a given that it was seen as a matter of basic dignity and propriety. In contrast, an uncovered head was considered to be a disgrace, to the extent that the Mishna lists the forced uncovering of a woman’s head as a paradigmatic act of humiliating another person, and also teaches that uncovering the sota’s hair shames her.
- Modesty Some level of modesty is a prerequisite to being dignified. The Mishna categorizes a married woman’s head-covering as dat Yehudit, Jewish women’s customary modest behavior.
A married woman is expected to adhere to higher standards of modesty than a single woman, because of her commitment to her husband. Her social status may also have been higher, with dignity standards befitting that status.
What other meanings have women found in head-covering?
-
- A sign of Marriage The Mishna teaches that a Jewish bride’s hair left loose in the public procession to her wedding was a sure sign that she had not been married before. Head-covering becomes an important sign of marital status, even though early rabbinic texts do not present this as the rationale behind the mitzva.
- Awe A man covers his head, as with a kippa, when reciting God’s name or entering a synagogue. Some authorities apply this ruling to women as well. For example, Rav Ovadya Yosef maintains that a married woman should cover her head whenever praying or reciting a beracha, and that it is praiseworthy for single women to do so. Others justify the common practice for women, married or not, not to be particular about this. Even if head-covering is not obligatory for this reason, a woman can still choose to see it as a sign of fear of Heaven.
- Identification Head covering also serves as a visible mark of affiliation with the halachically observant community.
May a woman cover her head just because Halacha demands it?
Halachic obligation is enough. Still, these ideas are important, and it can be helpful to contemplate them, especially since head-covering can take on meaning over time.
Next, we discuss who is obligated in head-covering.
In Depth
Rav Ezra Bick, Ilana Elzufon, Shayna Goldberg, and Rav Da’vid Sperling, eds.
Deracheha focuses on halachic education, presenting a range of perspectives.
A few pieces, like this one, focus more on ideas. We hope you find it thoughtful—and thought provoking.
Rationale: Dignity
Introduction
Previously, we discussed the halachic basis for head-covering – and Halacha remains the primary reason for a married woman to cover her head. But what is the reasoning behind the mitzva? And what are the personal, social, and spiritual implications of head-covering?
Here, we explore the range of meanings associated with head-covering in traditional sources. We start with rationales for the mitzva that emerge from the sources and then move to other types of meaning that women have found in head-covering, inspired by Torah. While some of these ideas may appear difficult to connect with, others may still resonate with the experience of contemporary women.
Why should we dwell on the significance of head-covering? Isn't Halacha enough?
The main and most significant reason for a married woman to cover her head is because Halacha requires it. When a woman covers her head after marriage, she is showing her willingness and readiness to submit to Halacha, even if she does not find additional meaning in this specific act.
Discussing possible rationales behind head-covering and its potential significance can be important, though, because many women find it difficult to observe this mitzva. A woman may feel that her head-covering is uncomfortable or that it makes her less attractive. A head-covering also may openly identify a woman as a religious Jew, making a public statement to others, a statement that the woman herself cannot fully control and with which she may not feel comfortable.
Even a woman committed to this mitzva may appreciate learning about what it means to others in ways that might enrich her own observance. Exploring these explanations shouldn’t take the place of learning the Halacha, but it can complement it.
The first part of this series establishes that there is a strong halachic basis for covering one’s head, a mitzva, regardless of what meanings one might assign to it. Changing conceptions of head-covering don’t undermine the mitzva. Rather, they challenge us to consider what elements of older ideas may retain relevance, and to seek out alternative ideas that can enhance observance.
Dignity
The Talmud’s discussion of head-covering seems to point to dignity as a rationale for the mitzva. In order to understand what the Talmud is saying, it is important first to note that, in Talmudic times, women’s head-covering was a near-universal practice.
נדרים ל:
אנשים זימנין דמיכסו רישייהו וזימנין דמגלו רישייהו אבל נשים לעולם מיכסו…
Nedarim 30b
Men sometimes cover their heads and sometimes bare their heads, but women always cover [their heads].
Head-covering was so widespread that it was seen as a matter of basic respectability or propriety, and an uncovered head was considered to be a disgrace.1
A woman’s head covering was so fundamental to her own dignity in public that the Mishna lists the forced uncovering of a woman’s head as a paradigmatic act of humiliating another person:
משנה בבא קמא ח:ו
התוקע לחבירו נותן לו סלע רבי יהודה אומר משום ר’ יוסי הגלילי מנה סטרו נותן לו מאתים זוז לאחר ידו נותן לו ארבע מאות זוז צרם באזנו תלש בשערו רקק והגיע בו רוקו העביר טליתו ממנו פרע ראש האשה [בשוק] נותן לו ארבע מאות זוז
Mishna, Bava Kama 8:6
One who boxes his fellow[‘s ear] gives him a sela (four zuz). Rabbi Yehuda says in the name of Rabbi Yosei Ha-gelili: A maneh (100 zuz). [If] he slapped him, he gives him 200 zuz. With the back of his hand, he gives him 400 zuz. Pulled his ear, pulled out his hair, spit and his spittle reached him, removed his outer garment from him, uncovered the head of a woman [in the marketplace], he gives him 400 zuz.
According to this mishna, removing a woman’s head covering is legally equivalent to the act of deliberately spitting on someone or of removing their outer garment. All these acts entail the willful disgrace of another, for which the perpetrator, in addition to seeking forgiveness, is liable for 400 zuz.
To put that sum in context, consider that the Mishnah in Pe’a lists 200 zuz as the amount of assets someone would need on hand to be considered disqualified from receiving agricultural gifts to the poor, the amount that raises a person over the poverty line.2 This penalty is double that amount.
In Talmudic times, a respectable woman would not have appeared bare-headed in public. Removing her head covering was considered an assault on her dignity, which Jewish law protects.
In Halachic Discussion
The primary halachic sources for the obligation of head-covering further demonstrate how a woman’s head covering was considered essential to her dignity.
As we saw in the previous installment, the sota ordeal includes the uncovering of the sota‘s head.3 The Mishna describes this as a fitting punishment for the woman’s own alleged behavior:
משנה סוטה א: ז
במדה שאדם מודד בה מודדין לו היא קשטה את עצמה לעבירה המקום ניולה …
Mishna Sota 1:7
With the measure that a person measures [we] measure [against] him. She adorned herself for transgression; God disgraces her…
The woman has presumably adorned herself inappropriately to attract her forbidden lover. Thus, her hair is uncovered in punishment, measure for measure. The uncovering leaves her unadorned and disgraced. Uncovering the sota’s hair shames her; that implies that a Jewish woman otherwise covers her head, as a matter of dignity or honor.
ספרי במדבר נשא יא
כשם שלא חסתה על כבוד המקום כך אין חסין על כבודה
Sifrei Bemidbar Naso 11
Just as she did not have mercy on the honor of God, so too we don’t have mercy on her honor.
The association with the sota may indicate that the threshold for dignity was higher for a married woman than for a single woman; with marriage would come a change to a higher status.
While the dignity explanation features prominently in halachic sources, it can be hard to relate to today, when head-covering is not universal and an uncovered head is generally not considered undignified.
How should we relate to perceptions about head-covering that no longer seem to apply?
Many modern societies no longer associate women’s head-covering with dignity or even modesty. Female dignitaries appear bareheaded at even the most formal events. In many circles, sheitels nearly indistinguishable from natural hair are often considered more dignified, or professional, than hats or scarves.
Why, then, should these Talmudic discussions resonate with us? If the Talmudic understanding of head-covering seems out of date, what does that say to us about the mitzva?
These are good, important questions. In general, even when the reason behind a mitzva seems no longer relevant, the mitzva remains in full force. In this case, though, while norms of head-covering have changed a great deal over the past century, they have not changed entirely. The Queen of England still arrives at affairs in hats, and the rest of the royal family often follows suit. Even outside Jewish circles, there is a residual sense that head-covering, like a particularly elegant hat, can sometimes add to or reflect a person’s dignity, whether or not it is essential to it. To this day, some people perceive women’s head-covering as something that dignifies the wearer.
The Talmudic discussions teach us both that respecting women’s dignity can be a primary frame of reference for how to relate to head-covering and that our sages’ approach to this Halacha reflected respect for women.
Rationale: Modesty
In addition to respecting women’s dignity, preserving modesty may have been a rationale for head-covering. As we’ve seen, halachic authorities starting from the Mishna categorize head-covering for married women as a form of dat yehudit, Jewish women’s customary modest behavior.
רמב”ם הלכות אישות כד:יב
ואיזו היא דת יהודית, הוא מנהג הצניעות שנהגו בנות ישראל
Mishneh Torah Ishut 24:12
What is dat yehudit? The modest behavior practiced by the daughters of Israel.
A married woman was expected to adhere to high standards of modesty than a single woman, because of her commitment to her husband.
Additionally, a woman’s hair, at least once she is married, may be have a status akin to erva, nakedness, which would interfere with a man’s ability to recite Shema. In contexts when this applies, covering hair could be seen as an act of modesty, like an extension of covering erva itself.4
Maharal teaches that modesty and dignity are closely related:
מהר”ל נתיבות עולם צניעות א
מי שאינו צנוע … בא קלון וחרפה אליו, כפי מדתו אשר נמשך אחריו, שהוא רחוק מן הכבוד…
Maharal Netivot Olam Tzeni'ut I
Whoever is not tzanu’a, disgrace and shame befalls him, in accordance with the attribute he is drawn to, for it [immodesty] is far from honor [kavod].
Modest behavior sets a boundary of propriety between public and private. The ability to maintain this type of boundary demonstrates self-respect and invites the respect of others.5 Conversely, immodest behavior can lead to disrespect.
Though standards of modesty can sometimes change, some measure of modesty is a prerequisite to being dignified. For this reason, the sources about dat yehudit and erva contribute to the broader idea that our sages view head-covering as signifying a woman’s dignity. Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach articulates this aspect of head-covering:6
רבנית אוריה מבורך, “למה אני אוהבת את כיסוי הראש שלי?”
כיסוי השיער בכל יום מחדש יוצר אצלי הפרדה בריאה בין “בבית” לבין “בחוץ”, בין “פרטי” ל”ציבורי”, בין “שלי” לבין “של כולם”. זוהי הבחנה שבימינו מטושטשת לחלוטין, בתרבות שאומרת לנו כל הזמן “תהיי של כולם, תַראי, תחציני את המראה שלך, תבקשי אישור ותקבלי לייק, וגם כשאת בבית שלך תצטלמי ותפיצי לכל עבר”. יש הבדל בין אישה שחושבת שיופי הוא פסול ולכן היא מטשטשת את יופייה לבין אישה שאוהבת יופי, אבל רוצה לתעל חלק ממנו למחוזות שהם רק שלה. אגב, זו משמעות שלא הייתי יכולה למצוא בכיסוי ראש אילו הייתי חווה אותו חלילה כמשהו שמכער אותי.
Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, 'Why Do I Love my Head-Covering?'
Covering the head every day anew creates a healthy distinction for me between home and outside, between private and public, between mine and everyone’s. This is a distinction that in our day has utterly faded, in a culture that constantly tells us: “Belong to everyone; put it on display; show off your looks; seek approval and get a ‘like;’ even at home, take a selfie and distribute it all over.” There is a difference between a woman who thinks beauty is improper and therefore obscures her beauty, and one who loves beauty, but wants to channel a part of it to realms that are exclusively hers. By the way, I would not be able to find this meaning in head-covering if I experienced it – God forbid – as something that makes me ugly.
Meaning: Marital Status
While dignity and modesty emerge from traditional sources as rationales for the obligation for a married woman to cover her head, women have found other types of meaning in the act of head-covering, some of them also inspired by rabbinic texts.
For example, head-covering functions as a sign of a Jewish woman’s marital status. This is a corollary to the halachic obligation to cover the hair, and not a source or rationale for it. Even so, many find it particularly meaningful.
One Talmudic passage reports that a non-Jewish maidservant was known to be free of a quasi-marital bond with a manservant as soon as she went out with her head uncovered to the marketplace, the quintessential public square.
סנהדרין נח:
אמר ר’ אלעזר אמר ר’ חנינא בן נח שייחד שפחה לעבדו…מאימת התרתה אמר רב הונא משפרעה ראשה בשוק
Sanhedrin 58b
Rabbi Elazar said Rabbi Chanina said: A Noachide [gentile] that set aside a maidservant for his manservant…from when has he permitted her [again to other men]? Rav Huna said from when she uncovered her head in the marketplace.
This passage implies that as long as she was in the relationship, the non-Jewish woman was careful to cover her head in public, thus making it clear to others that she was unavailable. Head covering itself functioned as a sign of a woman’s relationship status.
Head-covering also indicates a Jewish woman’s marital status, but in a slightly different way. The Mishna tells us that a Jewish woman would begin covering her head upon marriage but would not uncover her head if she were widowed or divorced. (We discuss the halachot of head-covering for a widow or divorcee here.) Thus, head-covering indicates that a woman either is currently married, or has been married in the past.
Why is this halachically significant? A woman’s ketuba, wedding contract, awards her a set sum of financial support from her husband upon her marriage’s dissolution, a minimum of 200 zuz for a virgin bride and 100 zuz for other women. A Jewish bride’s hair left loose in the public procession to her wedding was a sure sign that she had never been married before.
Witnesses to that procession could thus later establish her entitlement to the ketuba amount of a virgin bride.
משנה כתובות ב:א
האשה שנתארמלה או שנתגרשה היא אומרת בתולה נשאתני והוא אומר לא כי אלא אלמנה נשאתיך אם יש עדים שיצאת בהינומא וראשה פרוע כתובתה מאתים
Mishna Ketubot 2:1
The woman who has been widowed or divorced: She says ‘[I was] a virgin [when] you married me.’ And he says, ‘No, but [you were] a widow [when] I married you.’ If there are witnesses that she went out in a wedding veil and her hair was loose, her ketuba is 200 [zuz].
Here, loose hair in public firmly establishes that a woman hasn’t been previously married. Her head-covering status bears significant halachic weight, with financial implications.
A married woman’s uncovering her head could signal to other men that she is available to them, because head covering correlates with marital status. Covering would signal that she is unavailable. Again, this is not the basis for the halacha, though it can be important to a woman observing it.
In the anthology Hide & Seek, a woman going by the pseudonym Ruth Ben-Ammi explains why this idea matters to her:7
Ruth Ben-Ammi, 'Proud in the Golan Heights'
I have always associated marriage with hair covering…It’s just what makes sense to me. I always considered it a powerful notion that the only person who should see your hair is your husband…The moment people see my hat, they know I’m off-limits, and I think that’s wonderful. I feel protected….We belong to each other, it’s like a secret that anyone can see. Something covered is always a mystery.
Why should head covering function as a sign of marital status?
Head-covering could be an effective way for a woman to remind herself and others that she is unavailable. This is especially the case given the severity of the halachic prohibition of a man and woman having relations when she is married to another.
The Zohar expresses these ideas in expounding upon the sota passage.
זוהר במדבר נשא קכה:
ר’ חזקיה פתח (תהלים קכח) אשתך כגפן פוריה וגו’ מה גפן לא מקבל עליה אלא מדידיה כך אתתא דישראל קיימא בהאי גוונא דלא מקבלא עלה אלא ההוא בר זוגה, …ועל דא כגפן פוריה בירכתי ביתך… פוק חמי כמה פגימו גרים ההוא שערא דאתתא …
Zohar III Naso p. 125b
Rabbi Chizkiya opened, “Your wife is like a fruitful grapevine…” (Tehillim 128:3). Just as a grapevine does not receive [grafts] other than its own, so a woman of Israel is like this, that she does not receive anyone but her spouse…. For [she is] “like a fruitful grapevine in the recesses of your house”…Go out and see how many injuries this hair of a woman [exposed to others] causes…
In the continuation of this passage, Rav Chizkiya enumerates the negative consequences of a married woman’s hair being seen by others.
This source supports the popular intuition that hair becomes a special part of the marriage relationship, which is honored through its covering.
Rabbanit Chana Henkin has suggested that the obligation to cover hair applies only upon marriage in order to counterbalance the uncovering and intimacy that occurs within marriage. This explanation may also help explain why modesty concerns with hair take effect only upon marriage:
רבנית חנה הנקין, “מועדון עובדות השם”
כאשר איש ואשה נישאים, נופלות מחיצות הצניעות שביניהם. זהו ביטוי לדבקותם יחד של בני הזוג בבחינת “והיו לבשר אחד”. מעתה, שני בני הזוג יעמדו יחד באותו צד של מחיצת הצניעות אשר תפריד ביניהם לבין שאר בני אדם. ובאותו זמן שההלכה מקדשת את הקשר הפיזי בין בני הזוג, היא יוצרת מחיצה מיוחדת סביב הזוג. אותה ההלכה שמרשה לאשה לגלות טפח מחייבת אותה לכסות טפח. אומרת ההלכה לאשה: הדברים שהיו אסורים, כעת הם מותרים, אך גילוי הראש ברבים– שהיה מותר – הופך לאיסור. בכך נוצר איזון ונשמרת הקדושה בסיטואציה החדשה והרגישה.
Rabbanit Chana Henkin, 'Mo'adon Ovedot Hashem'
When a man and woman marry, the barriers of modesty between them fall. This is an expression of the bonding of the couple together as “they became one flesh.” From now on, the members of the couple will stand together on the same side of the barrier of modesty that separates them and other people. At the same time that Halacha sanctifies the physical connection between the couple, it creates a special barrier around the couple. The same halacha that allows the woman to reveal a handbreadth[to her husband], obligates her to cover a handbreadth [with regard to everyone else]. Halacha says to the woman: things that were forbidden are now permitted. But revealing the head in public – which was permitted – becomes forbidden. Thus a balance is created and holiness is preserved in this new and sensitive situation.
Meaning: Awe
A distinct Talmudic discussion teaches us that a woman’s head-covering can also signify awe of Heaven, similar to a man’s kippa. This, too, is not a rationale for the obligation of head-covering for a married woman, yet a woman may find that it, too, adds meaning to the act of covering her head.
In Talmudic times, men’s wearing of a kippa throughout the day was a pious practice, not a halachic requirement.8
קידושין לא.
רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע לא מסגי ארבע אמות בגילוי הראש אמר שכינה למעלה מראשי
Kiddushin 31a
Rav Huna son of Rabbi Yehoshua didn’t go four cubits bareheaded. He said, ‘The Divine presence is above my head.’
The Talmud singles out Rav Huna for his unusual practice of keeping his head covered at all times, in order to promote mindfulness of the Divine presence above.9
By reminding a person of God’s dominion overhead, as it were, head-covering develops fear of Heaven and inspires prayer. Rambam adds that men’s head-covering can be a form of modesty. He lists not fully exposing the head along with not exposing the body as an example of modest comportment:
הלכות דעות ה:ו
צניעות גדולה נוהגים תלמידי חכמים בעצמן. לא יתבזו ולא יגלו ראשן ולא גופן
Mishneh Torah, Laws of Character, 5:6
Talmidei chachamim (Torah scholars) conduct themselves with great modesty. They do not degrade themselves and do not bare their heads nor their bodies.
Interestingly, another Talmudic tale implies that, at one point in time, married men in particular were careful to cover their heads.10 Though a man’s walking about with his head covered began as a pious, even modest practice, perhaps at one point connected to his marital status, it became a matter of binding custom.11
Reciting God’s Name
When keeping one’s head covered throughout the day (as with a kippa) was still an optional practice for men, head covering when reciting the name of God received distinct halachic attention.12 Shulchan Aruch cites a ruling obligating head covering when reciting God’s name, and notes that some extend the obligation to require head covering when entering a synagogue. A synagogue is a place in which we recite God’s name, and such a place itself demands awe:
שלחן ערוך אורח חיים צא:ג
יש אומרים שאסור להוציא אזכרה מפיו בראש מגולה ויש אומרים שיש למחות שלא ליכנס בבית הכנסת בגלוי הראש:
Shulchan Aruch OC 91:3
There are those who say that it is prohibited let a mention of God’s name leave one’s lips with his head bare and there are those who say that one should insist that no [one] should enter synagogue bare-headed.
The ruling requiring head covering when saying God’s name or entering synagogue explains the common practice in our day of less religiously observant men donning a kippa specifically when entering a synagogue or participating in religious ritual. It also can explain the practice of women who wear a hat, kerchief, or lace head-covering specifically in synagogue or even at home alone when making a blessing (as over Shabbat candles).13
Indeed, halachic authorities discuss whether the obligation to cover one’s head while reciting berachot or prayers or learning Torah applies to women as well as to men. Rav Ovadya Hedaya rules that females are obligated in head-covering when learning Torah and saying tefillot, because there is no distinction in this matter between men and women, boys and girls.14
Rav Ovadya Yosef agrees, ruling that, ideally, women and girls should take care to cover hair when reciting prayers and berachot, as men do. However, he does find room for leniency for unmarried women:
שו”ת יחווה דעת ה: ו
… וכנראה שסוברים לחלק בזה בין אנשים ששורת דרך ארץ היא לכסות ראשם בפני גדולים… ולכן אם יברכו בגילוי הראש נחשב הדבר כזלזול במורא שמים, מה שאין כן בנות רווקות שדרכן ללכת תמיד בגילוי הראש עד לנישואיהן, אינן צריכות לכסות ראשן גם בשעה שמזכירות שם שמים. וזאת בצירוף דעת רבותינו שבצרפת והרמב”ם שסוברים שמותר לברך בגילוי הראש (אפילו לאנשים)… מכל מקום נראה יותר שלכתחלה ראוי להורות גם לנערות פנויות לכסות ראשן בעת שמברכות, וכל שכן בעת שמתפללות תפלת שמונה עשרה …
Responsa Yechaveh Da'at 5:6
…It would seem that they think to distinguish between men, for whom the accepted custom is to cover their heads in front of great [people]… and therefore, if they recite a beracha bare-headed it is considered disrespectful of fear of Heaven, which is not the case for single women, whose manner is to always go bare-headed until marriage, they need not cover their heads even when they mention God’s name. This is in combination with the opinion of our sages in France and the Rambam, who considered it permissible to bless bareheaded (even for men)…In any case, it seems more [correct] that ideally it is proper to also teach single girls to cover their heads when reciting berachot, and even more when they pray tefillat Shemoneh Esrei.
According to Rav Yosef, men often don hats in elevated rabbinic company. Since unmarried Jewish females do not customarily don head coverings in any setting, it must be that it is not offensive at all for unmarried females to go with bare heads. Therefore, an unmarried woman may rely on lenient opinions, and has a halachic basis for keeping her head uncovered even in synagogue. However, he concludes with a stringency that single women, too, should ideally cover for prayer.
This stringency has not been widely adopted. Rav Eliezer Waldenberg, among others, provides halachic justification for the common practice of married and unmarried women not to be particular about head-covering in a way that parallels men’s practice.15
Though many halachic authorities do not mandate women’s head-covering for this purpose, when a married woman covers her head because of the halachic obligation, she can understand that covering as also acknowledging God’s dominion over her. Women’s head covering can reflect and inspire fear of Heaven.16
Meaning: Identification
Like a man’s kippa, head covering can also communicate proudly that a woman is affiliated with the God-fearing community of Jews. This is ironic, since women’s head-covering was once universal.
Susan Rubin Weintrob, 'Why I Wear a Hat,' Hide & Seek, 94-95
When I attend Jewish community functions, people know that my hat means I am religious. Just as my hat tells them something about me, their reaction to my hat tells me something about them…I don’t wear a hat to stand out or to be different—I wear a hat to link myself to the many generations of women before me.
Rabbanit Mevorach speaks about head-covering as a meaningful identifier as well:
רבנית אוריה מבורך, “למה אני אוהבת את כיסוי הראש שלי?”
אני מודעת לכך שכיסוי הראש המלא שלי מתייג אותי כדוסית, למרות שעמדותיי עשויות להפתיע אנשים שיש להם סטריאוטיפים על דוסים. … אשמח שאנשים יראו בי קודם כול דוסית ולאחר מכן יכירו אותי לעומק ויופתעו כאוות נפשם. הצהרת “העיקר הפנימיות, הקץ לסטריאוטיפים” יכולה להיאמר אך ורק לכיוון אחד: היא הגיונית כאשר היא נאמרת על ידי מי שנושא על עצמו סממנים חיצוניים שיש עליהם סטריאוטיפ בחברה, והיא לא הגיונית כאשר היא נאמרת על ידי מי שמשיל מעליו סממנים חיצוניים כדי להימלט מהסטריאוטיפ שמוצמד להם בחברה.
Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, 'Why Do I Love my Head-Covering?'
I’m aware that my full head-covering labels me as a frum woman, even though my attitudes might surprise people who have stereotypes about religious people…I am happy for people to see me first of all as a frum woman and only afterwards to get to know me deeply and be as surprised as they wish. Declaring that “the internal is what’s essential, down with stereotypes” is only meaningful in one direction: it is cogent when said by someone who takes on external signifiers that society stereotypes, and it is not cogent when said by someone who removes external signifiers in order to evade stereotyping…
Rabbanit Mevorach is ready for others to relate to her as a religious Jew, whatever stereotypes that might entail, and she argues that it is specifically her readiness to do so, to own her religious identity, that puts her in position to combat stereotyping.
Head-Covering and Meaning
A given woman may connect to her head-covering as a representation of dignity, an expression of modesty, a signifier of marriage, a reminder of fear of Heaven, or a mark of identification with a religious community. Each of these ideas merits careful reflection.
Many factors go into a woman’s commitment to cover her head, and for some women, halachic obligation is enough. If a woman covers her hair out of a desire to submit to God’s Will and the halachic system, that in of itself lends meaning and significance to the act, and she need not feel that anything is lacking in her observance. Over time, though, she may find that head-covering takes on new meaning for her.
Next, we discuss who is obligated in head-covering.
Further Reading
- Henkin, Rabbanit Chana. “Moa’adon Ovedot Hashem.” In Me-al U-me’ever: Limmud Ve-ha’amaka Be-nosei Kisui Ha-rosh, edited by Efrat Cohen. Jerusalem: 2011.
- Mevorach, Oriya. “Why Do I Love My Head-Covering?” Makor Rishon 2.13.19. Available here.
- Schreiber, Lynn. Hide and Seek: Jewish Women and Hair Covering. Jerusalem: Urim, 2003.
Notes
1. Rashi writes that a woman is embarrassed to be seen in public with her head exposed. Rashi explains that head-covering evolved from a forced act of submission to God into a basic ingredient of respectability in public.
רש”י עירובין ק: ד”ה עטופה
בושה לצאת בראשה פרוע:
Rashi, Eiruvin 100b, s.v. wrapped
[A woman is] embarrassed to go out with her head uncovered [paru’a].
His comment comes to explain a negative take on the origin of women’s head-covering, one that traces it back to Chava, in the aftermath of eating from the Tree of Knowledge:
אבות דרבי נתן נוסחא ב פרק מב
עשרה גזירות נגזרו על אדם הראשון ועשרה על חוה …התשיעית יוצאה [לשוק] ראשה מכוסה כאבל
Avot De-Rabbi Natan (Version 2), Chapter 42
Ten decrees were decreed on the first man and ten on Chava…The ninth—that she go out [to the marketplace with] her head covered like a mourner.
According to this tradition, as humans exited Eden, God decreed that a woman should cover her head to go out in public.This covering was comparable to that of a mourner, at a time when mourners would wrap their heads in order to display submission to God and Divine judgment.
Me’iri explains:
בית הבחירה למאירי מועד קטן טו.
אבל חייב בעטיפת הראש שלא יעמוד בגלוי הראש אלא … שיהא עומד כאדם נכנע ונשבר …
Beit Ha-bechira Mo'ed Katan 15a
A mourner is obligated in wrapping of the head so that he not stand bare-headed, rather…that he stand as a person submissive and subjugated [before God]
Rashi explains that head-covering evolved from a forced act of submission to God into a basic ingredient of respectability in public.
משנה פאה ח:ח
מי שיש לו מאתים זוז לא יטול לקט שכחה ופאה ומעשר עני
Mishna Pe'a 8:8
Whoever has 200 zuz may not take leket, shichecha, or pe’a, or ma’aser ani.
3. Although halachic sources make it clear that this is the source for halachot of covering and uncovering the head, Rashi (ad loc.) adds, drawing on the interpretation of “u-fara” as disheveled, that the Kohen disheveled the sota‘s hair.
רש”י במדבר ה:יח
ופרע – סותר את קליעת שערה כדי לבזותה, מכאן לבנות ישראל שגלוי הראש גנאי להן:
Rashi Bemidbar 5:18
“And he uncovered” – He undoes the braid of her hair in order to disgrace her, and from here [we learn] that the uncovering of the head is a disgrace to the daughters of Israel.
8. See also here:
נדרים ל:
אנשים זימנין דמיכסו רישייהו וזימנין דמגלו רישייהו אבל נשים לעולם מיכסו וקטנים לעולם מיגלו
Nedarim 30b
Men sometimes cover their heads and sometimes bare their heads, but women always cover and minors always bare [their heads].
9. In a similar vein, Rav Nachman bar Yitzhak’s mother insisted on his head covering.
שבת קנו:
דאימיה דר”נ [=דרב נחמן] בר יצחק …לא שבקתיה גלויי רישיה אמרה ליה כסי רישיך כי היכי דתיהוו עלך אימתא דשמיא ובעי רחמי
Shabbat 156b
The mother of Rav Nachman Bar Yitzhak…didn’t let him bare his head. She said to him ‘Cover your head so that the fear of Heaven will be upon you and you will pray.’
קידושין כט:
משתבח ליה רב חסדא לרב הונא בדרב המנונא דאדם גדול הוא א”ל [אמר ליה] כשיבא לידך הביאהו לידי כי אתא חזייה דלא פריס סודרא א”ל [אמר ליה] מאי טעמא לא פריסת סודרא א”ל [אמר ליה] דלא נסיבנא אהדרינהו לאפיה מיניה א”ל [אמר ליה] חזי דלא חזית להו לאפי עד דנסבת
Kiddushin 29b
Rav Chisda praised Rav Hamnuna to Rav Huna, [saying that] he was a great man. He said to him: When he comes to you, bring him to me. When he came, he saw that he did not spread a scarf [over his head]. He said to him: Why don’t you spread a scarf [over your head]? He said to him: because I am not married. He turned his face away from him and said to him: See that you do not see my face until you get married.
11. That is how Shulchan Aruch presents it:
שו”ע או”ח ב:ו …
ולא ילך ארבע אמות בגילוי הראש )מפני כבוד השכינה(.
Shulchan Aruch OC 2:6
And one should not walk four cubits bare-headed (because of honor of the Divine presence).
מסכת סופרים פרק יד
ויש אומרים … בראשו מגולה אינו רשאי להוציא הזכרה מפיו…
Masechet Soferim, ch. 14
There are those who say…with his head bare, he is not permitted to let a mention of God’s name leave his lips.
ישכיל עבדי חלק ז השמטות אורח חיים סימן א: ה
מעתה אחרי שהתברר שאיסור הקריאה בתורה בגילוי ראש מצד הדין הרי ברור שאין מקום לחלק בין איש לבין אשה, לבין קטן לקטנה, דכולם שוים באיסוריהם
Yaskil Avdi 7, Omissions, OC 1:5
From here, after the halachic prohibition to read from the Torah bare-headed has been clarified, there is clearly no room to distinguish between man and woman, boy and girl, for all are equally prohibited.
15. An alternate perspective, brought by the Tzitz Eliezer in the name of Chatam Sofer, asserts that men cover their heads nowadays because non-Jews specifically uncover theirs for worship. Female non-Jews do not specifically uncover their heads to worship, so it does not represent the same thing to a Jewish woman, and no comparable law was put into place.
שו”ת ציץ אליעזר חלק יב סימן יג
נשאלתי מרב גדול אחד למה ומדוע לא מקפידין על נשים פנויות ההולכות בגילוי ראש שלא יברכו ולא יאמרו דבר שבקדושה בלי שיכסו ראשן…ועולה בדעתי ליישב מנהגן של ישראל זה עפ”י [=על פי] מה שראיתי בחידושי חתם סופר על נדרים ד’ ל’ ע”ב במתניתין …לא מטעם חסידות הנהיגו כן אלא מעיקר הדין כמו”ש [=כמו שכתב] הט”ז באו”ח סי’ ח’ מאחר שעשאוהו עע”ז [עובדי עבודה זרה] חק לע”ז [=לעבודה זרה] לילך דוקא בגילוי ראש ולכבד הע”ז [=העבודה זרה] בזה א”כ [=אם כן] נאסר לנו מן הדין … ומנהג זה נהגו בזכרים ולא בנקבות שלהם, אדרבא אית בהו קפידא ביניהם שלא תלכנה בגלוי ראש לבית ע”ז [=עבודה זרה], ע”כ [=על כן] לא החמירו אבותינו בגלוי ראש דנקבות פנויות עכ”ל [=עד כאן לשונו].
Responsa Tzitz Eliezer 2:13
I was asked by an important Rav why we are not careful regarding single women who go bareheaded, that they not recite berachot or say holy words without covering their hair.… and then it occurred to me to justify the custom of Israel based on what I had seen in the novellae of the Chatam Sofer on Nedarim 30b in the mishna…. He writes as follows: “…Rather, this custom was instituted not for reasons of piety but as the basic halacha, as the Taz writes in OC 8, after the idolaters instituted for idolatry to go specifically bare-headed to honor the idol; if so, it is halachically forbidden for us [to bare our heads] …and this custom applies to their males and not to their females; on the contrary, they [non-Jewish women] are careful not to go to the house of worship bare-headed. Therefore, our ancestors were not stringent on unmarried females going bare-headed.”
16. Dr. Erica Brown, however, cautions that this thinking can be problematic:
Erica Brown,'A Crown of Thorns: Orthodox Women Who Chose not to Cover their Hair,' Hide & Seek, p. 186
Although this rationale may make women “feel better” about their observance of the mitzva, it is both inaccurate to the sources and can have very dramatic outcomes if taken to its logical extreme.
Sources
To view these sources in context on Sefaria, click here!
Rationale: Dignity
נדרים ל:
אנשים זימנין דמיכסו רישייהו וזימנין דמגלו רישייהו אבל נשים לעולם מיכסו…
Nedarim 30b
Men sometimes cover their heads and sometimes bare their heads, but women always cover [their heads].
משנה בבא קמא ח:ו
התוקע לחבירו נותן לו סלע רבי יהודה אומר משום ר’ יוסי הגלילי מנה סטרו נותן לו מאתים זוז לאחר ידו נותן לו ארבע מאות זוז צרם באזנו תלש בשערו רקק והגיע בו רוקו העביר טליתו ממנו פרע ראש האשה [בשוק] נותן לו ארבע מאות זוז
Mishna, Bava Kama 8:6
One who boxes his fellow[‘s ear] gives him a sela (four zuz). Rabbi Yehuda says in the name of Rabbi Yosei Ha-gelili: A maneh (100 zuz). [If] he slapped him, he gives him 200 zuz. With the back of his hand, he gives him 400 zuz. Pulled his ear, pulled out his hair, spit and his spittle reached him, removed his outer garment from him, uncovered the head of a woman [in the marketplace], he gives him 400 zuz.
משנה סוטה א: ז
במדה שאדם מודד בה מודדין לו היא קשטה את עצמה לעבירה המקום ניולה …
Mishna Sota 1:7
With the measure that a person measures [we] measure [against] him. She adorned herself for transgression; God disgraces her…
ספרי במדבר נשא יא
כשם שלא חסתה על כבוד המקום כך אין חסין על כבודה
Sifrei Bemidbar Naso 11
Just as she did not have mercy on the honor of God, so too we don’t have mercy on her honor.
Rationale: Modesty
רמב”ם הלכות אישות כד:יב
ואיזו היא דת יהודית, הוא מנהג הצניעות שנהגו בנות ישראל
Mishneh Torah Ishut 24:12
What is dat yehudit? The modest behavior practiced by the daughters of Israel.
מהר”ל נתיבות עולם צניעות א
מי שאינו צנוע … בא קלון וחרפה אליו, כפי מדתו אשר נמשך אחריו, שהוא רחוק מן הכבוד…
Maharal Netivot Olam Tzeni'ut I
Whoever is not tzanu’a, disgrace and shame befalls him, in accordance with the attribute he is drawn to, for it [immodesty] is far from honor [kavod].
רבנית אוריה מבורך, “למה אני אוהבת את כיסוי הראש שלי?”
כיסוי השיער בכל יום מחדש יוצר אצלי הפרדה בריאה בין “בבית” לבין “בחוץ”, בין “פרטי” ל”ציבורי”, בין “שלי” לבין “של כולם”. זוהי הבחנה שבימינו מטושטשת לחלוטין, בתרבות שאומרת לנו כל הזמן “תהיי של כולם, תַראי, תחציני את המראה שלך, תבקשי אישור ותקבלי לייק, וגם כשאת בבית שלך תצטלמי ותפיצי לכל עבר”. יש הבדל בין אישה שחושבת שיופי הוא פסול ולכן היא מטשטשת את יופייה לבין אישה שאוהבת יופי, אבל רוצה לתעל חלק ממנו למחוזות שהם רק שלה. אגב, זו משמעות שלא הייתי יכולה למצוא בכיסוי ראש אילו הייתי חווה אותו חלילה כמשהו שמכער אותי.
Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, 'Why Do I Love my Head-Covering?'
Covering the head every day anew creates a healthy distinction for me between home and outside, between private and public, between mine and everyone’s. This is a distinction that in our day has utterly faded, in a culture that constantly tells us: “Belong to everyone; put it on display; show off your looks; seek approval and get a ‘like;’ even at home, take a selfie and distribute it all over.” There is a difference between a woman who thinks beauty is improper and therefore obscures her beauty, and one who loves beauty, but wants to channel a part of it to realms that are exclusively hers. By the way, I would not be able to find this meaning in head-covering if I experienced it – God forbid – as something that makes me ugly.
Meaning: Marital Status
סנהדרין נח:
אמר ר’ אלעזר אמר ר’ חנינא בן נח שייחד שפחה לעבדו…מאימת התרתה אמר רב הונא משפרעה ראשה בשוק
Sanhedrin 58b
Rabbi Elazar said Rabbi Chanina said: A Noachide [gentile] that set aside a maidservant for his manservant…from when has he permitted her [again to other men]? Rav Huna said from when she uncovered her head in the marketplace.
משנה כתובות ב:א
האשה שנתארמלה או שנתגרשה היא אומרת בתולה נשאתני והוא אומר לא כי אלא אלמנה נשאתיך אם יש עדים שיצאת בהינומא וראשה פרוע כתובתה מאתים
Mishna Ketubot 2:1
The woman who has been widowed or divorced: She says ‘[I was] a virgin [when] you married me.’ And he says, ‘No, but [you were] a widow [when] I married you.’ If there are witnesses that she went out in a wedding veil and her hair was loose, her ketuba is 200 [zuz].
Ruth Ben-Ammi, 'Proud in the Golan Heights'
I have always associated marriage with hair covering…It’s just what makes sense to me. I always considered it a powerful notion that the only person who should see your hair is your husband…The moment people see my hat, they know I’m off-limits, and I think that’s wonderful. I feel protected…We belong to each other, it’s like a secret that anyone can see. Something covered is always a mystery.
זוהר במדבר נשא קכה:
ר’ חזקיה פתח (תהלים קכח) אשתך כגפן פוריה וגו’ מה גפן לא מקבל עליה אלא מדידיה כך אתתא דישראל קיימא בהאי גוונא דלא מקבלא עלה אלא ההוא בר זוגה, …ועל דא כגפן פוריה בירכתי ביתך… פוק חמי כמה פגימו גרים ההוא שערא דאתתא …
Zohar III Naso p. 125b
Rabbi Chizkiya opened, “Your wife is like a fruitful grapevine…” (Tehillim 128:3). Just as a grapevine does not receive [grafts] other than its own, so a woman of Israel is like this, that she does not receive anyone but her spouse…. For [she is] “like a fruitful grapevine in the recesses of your house”…Go out and see how many injuries this hair of a woman [exposed to others] causes…
רבנית חנה הנקין, “מועדון עובדות השם”
כאשר איש ואשה נישאים, נופלות מחיצות הצניעות שביניהם. זהו ביטוי לדבקותם יחד של בני הזוג בבחינת “והיו לבשר אחד”. מעתה, שני בני הזוג יעמדו יחד באותו צד של מחיצת הצניעות אשר תפריד ביניהם לבין שאר בני אדם. ובאותו זמן שההלכה מקדשת את הקשר הפיזי בין בני הזוג, היא יוצרת מחיצה מיוחדת סביב הזוג. אותה ההלכה שמרשה לאשה לגלות טפח מחייבת אותה לכסות טפח. אומרת ההלכה לאשה: הדברים שהיו אסורים, כעת הם מותרים, אך גילוי הראש ברבים– שהיה מותר – הופך לאיסור. בכך נוצר איזון ונשמרת הקדושה בסיטואציה החדשה והרגישה.
Rabbanit Chana Henkin, 'Mo'adon Ovedot Hashem'
When a man and woman marry, the barriers of modesty between them fall. This is an expression of the bonding of the couple together as “they became one flesh.” From now on, the members of the couple will stand together on the same side of the barrier of modesty that separates them and other people. At the same time that Halacha sanctifies the physical connection between the couple, it creates a special barrier around the couple. The same halacha that allows the woman to reveal a handbreadth[to her husband], obligates her to cover a handbreadth [with regard to everyone else]. Halacha says to the woman: things that were forbidden are now permitted. But revealing the head in public – which was permitted – becomes forbidden. Thus a balance is created and holiness is preserved in this new and sensitive situation.
Meaning: Awe
קידושין לא.
רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע לא מסגי ארבע אמות בגילוי הראש אמר שכינה למעלה מראשי
Kiddushin 31a
Rav Huna son of Rabbi Yehoshua didn’t go four cubits bareheaded. He said, ‘The Divine presence is above my head.’
הלכות דעות ה:ו
צניעות גדולה נוהגים תלמידי חכמים בעצמן. לא יתבזו ולא יגלו ראשן ולא גופן
Mishneh Torah, Laws of Character, 5:6
Talmidei chachamim (Torah scholars) conduct themselves with great modesty. They do not degrade themselves and do not bare their heads nor their bodies.
שלחן ערוך אורח חיים צא:ג
יש אומרים שאסור להוציא אזכרה מפיו בראש מגולה ויש אומרים שיש למחות שלא ליכנס בבית הכנסת בגלוי הראש:
Shulchan Aruch OC 91:3
There are those who say that it is prohibited let a mention of God’s name leave one’s lips with his head bare and there are those who say that one should insist that no [one] should enter synagogue bare-headed.
שו”ת יחווה דעת ה: ו
… וכנראה שסוברים לחלק בזה בין אנשים ששורת דרך ארץ היא לכסות ראשם בפני גדולים… ולכן אם יברכו בגילוי הראש נחשב הדבר כזלזול במורא שמים, מה שאין כן בנות רווקות שדרכן ללכת תמיד בגילוי הראש עד לנישואיהן, אינן צריכות לכסות ראשן גם בשעה שמזכירות שם שמים. וזאת בצירוף דעת רבותינו שבצרפת והרמב”ם שסוברים שמותר לברך בגילוי הראש (אפילו לאנשים)… מכל מקום נראה יותר שלכתחלה ראוי להורות גם לנערות פנויות לכסות ראשן בעת שמברכות, וכל שכן בעת שמתפללות תפלת שמונה עשרה …
Responsa Yechaveh Da'at 5:6
…It would seem that they think to distinguish between men, for whom the accepted custom is to cover their heads in front of great [people]… and therefore, if they recite a beracha bare-headed it is considered disrespectful of fear of Heaven, which is not the case for single women, whose manner is to always go bare-headed until marriage, they need not cover their heads even when they mention God’s name. This is in combination with the opinion of our sages in France and the Rambam, who considered it permissible to bless bareheaded (even for men)…In any case, it seems more [correct] that ideally it is proper to also teach single girls to cover their heads when reciting berachot, and even more when they pray tefillat Shemoneh Esrei.
Meaning: Identification
Susan Rubin Weintrob, 'Why I Wear a Hat,' Hide & Seek, 94-95
When I attend Jewish community functions, people know that my hat means I am religious. Just as my hat tells them something about me, their reaction to my hat tells me something about them…I don’t wear a hat to stand out or to be different—I wear a hat to link myself to the many generations of women before me.
רבנית אוריה מבורך, “למה אני אוהבת את כיסוי הראש שלי?”
אני מודעת לכך שכיסוי הראש המלא שלי מתייג אותי כדוסית, למרות שעמדותיי עשויות להפתיע אנשים שיש להם סטריאוטיפים על דוסים. … אשמח שאנשים יראו בי קודם כול דוסית ולאחר מכן יכירו אותי לעומק ויופתעו כאוות נפשם. הצהרת “העיקר הפנימיות, הקץ לסטריאוטיפים” יכולה להיאמר אך ורק לכיוון אחד: היא הגיונית כאשר היא נאמרת על ידי מי שנושא על עצמו סממנים חיצוניים שיש עליהם סטריאוטיפ בחברה, והיא לא הגיונית כאשר היא נאמרת על ידי מי שמשיל מעליו סממנים חיצוניים כדי להימלט מהסטריאוטיפ שמוצמד להם בחברה.
Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, 'Why Do I Love my Head-Covering?'
I’m aware that my full head-covering labels me as a frum woman, even though my attitudes might surprise people who have stereotypes about religious people…I am happy for people to see me first of all as a frum woman and only afterwards to get to know me deeply and be as surprised as they wish. Declaring that “the internal is what’s essential, down with stereotypes” is only meaningful in one direction: it is cogent when said by someone who takes on external signifiers that society stereotypes, and it is not cogent when said by someone who removes external signifiers in order to evade stereotyping…
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Hashkafic Q&A
Why should we dwell on the significance of head-covering? Isn't Halacha enough?
The main and most significant reason for a married woman to cover her head is because Halacha requires it. When a woman covers her head after marriage, she is showing her willingness and readiness to submit to Halacha, even if she does not find additional meaning in this specific act.
Discussing possible rationales behind head-covering and its potential significance can be important, though, because many women find it difficult to observe this mitzva. A woman may feel that her head-covering is uncomfortable or that it makes her less attractive. A head-covering also may openly identify a woman as a religious Jew, making a public statement to others, a statement that the woman herself cannot fully control and with which she may not feel comfortable.
Even a woman committed to this mitzva may appreciate learning about what it means to others in ways that might enrich her own observance. Exploring these explanations shouldn’t take the place of learning the Halacha, but it can complement it.
The first part of this series establishes that there is a strong halachic basis for covering one’s head, a mitzva, regardless of what meanings one might assign to it. Changing conceptions of head-covering don’t undermine the mitzva. Rather, they challenge us to consider what elements of older ideas may retain relevance, and to seek out alternative ideas that can enhance observance.
How should we relate to perceptions about head-covering that no longer seem to apply?
Many modern societies no longer associate women’s head-covering with dignity or even modesty. Female dignitaries appear bareheaded at even the most formal events. In many circles, sheitels nearly indistinguishable from natural hair are often considered more dignified, or professional, than hats or scarves.
Why, then, should these Talmudic discussions resonate with us? If the Talmudic understanding of head-covering seems out of date, what does that say to us about the mitzva?
These are good, important questions. In general, even when the reason behind a mitzva seems no longer relevant, the mitzva remains in full force. In this case, though, while norms of head-covering have changed a great deal over the past century, they have not changed entirely. The Queen of England still arrives at affairs in hats, and the rest of the royal family often follows suit. Even outside Jewish circles, there is a residual sense that head-covering, like a particularly elegant hat, can sometimes add to or reflect a person’s dignity, whether or not it is essential to it. To this day, some people perceive women’s head-covering as something that dignifies the wearer.
The Talmudic discussions teach us both that respecting women’s dignity can be a primary frame of reference for how to relate to head-covering and that our sages’ approach to this Halacha reflected respect for women.
Why should head covering function as a sign of marital status?
Head-covering could be an effective way for a woman to remind herself and others that she is unavailable. This is especially the case given the severity of the halachic prohibition of a man and woman having relations when she is married to another.
The Zohar expresses these ideas in expounding upon the sota passage.
זוהר במדבר נשא קכה:
ר’ חזקיה פתח (תהלים קכח) אשתך כגפן פוריה וגו’ מה גפן לא מקבל עליה אלא מדידיה כך אתתא דישראל קיימא בהאי גוונא דלא מקבלא עלה אלא ההוא בר זוגה, …ועל דא כגפן פוריה בירכתי ביתך… פוק חמי כמה פגימו גרים ההוא שערא דאתתא …
Zohar III Naso p. 125b
Rabbi Chizkiya opened, “Your wife is like a fruitful grapevine…” (Tehillim 128:3). Just as a grapevine does not receive [grafts] other than its own, so a woman of Israel is like this, that she does not receive anyone but her spouse…. For [she is] “like a fruitful grapevine in the recesses of your house”…Go out and see how many injuries this hair of a woman [exposed to others] causes…
In the continuation of this passage, Rav Chizkiya enumerates the negative consequences of a married woman’s hair being seen by others.
This source supports the popular intuition that hair becomes a special part of the marriage relationship, which is honored through its covering.
Rabbanit Chana Henkin has suggested that the obligation to cover hair applies only upon marriage in order to counterbalance the uncovering and intimacy that occurs within marriage. This explanation may also help explain why modesty concerns with hair take effect only upon marriage:
רבנית חנה הנקין, “מועדון עובדות השם”
כאשר איש ואשה נישאים, נופלות מחיצות הצניעות שביניהם. זהו ביטוי לדבקותם יחד של בני הזוג בבחינת “והיו לבשר אחד”. מעתה, שני בני הזוג יעמדו יחד באותו צד של מחיצת הצניעות אשר תפריד ביניהם לבין שאר בני אדם. ובאותו זמן שההלכה מקדשת את הקשר הפיזי בין בני הזוג, היא יוצרת מחיצה מיוחדת סביב הזוג. אותה ההלכה שמרשה לאשה לגלות טפח מחייבת אותה לכסות טפח. אומרת ההלכה לאשה: הדברים שהיו אסורים, כעת הם מותרים, אך גילוי הראש ברבים– שהיה מותר – הופך לאיסור. בכך נוצר איזון ונשמרת הקדושה בסיטואציה החדשה והרגישה.
Rabbanit Chana Henkin, 'Mo'adon Ovedot Hashem'
When a man and woman marry, the barriers of modesty between them fall. This is an expression of the bonding of the couple together as “they became one flesh.” From now on, the members of the couple will stand together on the same side of the barrier of modesty that separates them and other people. At the same time that Halacha sanctifies the physical connection between the couple, it creates a special barrier around the couple. The same halacha that allows the woman to reveal a handbreadth[to her husband], obligates her to cover a handbreadth [with regard to everyone else]. Halacha says to the woman: things that were forbidden are now permitted. But revealing the head in public – which was permitted – becomes forbidden. Thus a balance is created and holiness is preserved in this new and sensitive situation.
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