Mikveh in a long-time relationship

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I live in a long time-relationship, having small kids. As me and my partner progress in keeping the mitzvot, we wanted to start keeping the taharas mischpacha too. But my problem is – since we are not married (and we will not marry in a near future due to some personal issues we cannot change), I cannot go to the mikveh. The mikveh is there for a married woman only, it would be a hypocrisy to use it, e.g. in this case I feel the usage of the mikveh would somehow legitimise the unmarried relationship, which sure isn’t the true purpose of mikveh, so its wrong. We don’t have access to a “natural mikveh” as sea, lake etc. What should I do to do my best? I count the period and the clean days, but I feel miss the final ending of the niddah time, e.g. without the mikveh I am not even rendered tahorah.

Thank for your opinion.

Anonymous Ester HaMalka 🙂

And thank for the wonderful deracheha site, its a big inspiration and source of information to me.

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Asked on June 8, 2021 8:38 am
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Private answer

We appreciate your reaching out for us, and we are delighted to read of your commitment to growing in Torah and mitzvot!

The best address for questions related to mikveh is the yoatzot website: http://www.yoatzot.org/content-pages/2113/

We recommend that you reach out to them with this specific question, and we hope that you will turn to us when other questions arise related to women and mitzvot.

See more Q&A here.

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Answered on June 8, 2021 8:42 am