Dedicated by Lucie and Ephraim Freudenberger in honor of their wedding
What is the mitzva of kiddush on Shabbat and Yom Tov, at night and during the day? What is a woman’s obligation? How should a couple handle kiddush during nidda?
In Brief
What is the mitzva of kiddush?
Aseret ha-diberot in Shemot command us, “zachor,” remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it, which is identified with performing the positive commandments of Shabbat. In Devarim, the command is “shamor,” keep Shabbat, identified with observing the prohibitions.
The Talmud teaches that God uttered both words simultaneously, and that remembering Shabbat entails making a verbal proclamation when it begins, kiddush.
If God already sanctified Shabbat, what is the meaning of our kiddush?
- Kiddush affirms and proclaims Shabbat’s sanctity and greatness (Rambam). We mention Creation and God’s sanctification of Shabbat then in kiddush.
- Kiddush actively invests Shabbat with additional sanctity (Ramban). Mention of the Exodus in kiddush highlights Shabbat’s commonality with the festivals as days we proclaim as sacred.
Why do we recite kiddush again during the daytime?
Our sages enacted daytime kiddush, kiddusha rabba, to elevate the daytime meal. Since wine is a vehicle for song and praise, beginning the meal with a beracha over wine implicitly praises God for Shabbat. We customarily make our praise explicit by preceding the beracha with verses about Shabbat.
Are women obligated in kiddush, even though it’s a positive time-bound commandment?
Yes. Women are obligated to observe prohibitions. Since shamor and zachor were said as one, women are obligated both in prohibitions and in positive commandments of Shabbat, including kiddush at night and during the day.
What about kiddush on Yom Tov? Are women obligated in it?
Our sages enacted kiddush on Yom Tov, night and day, with halachot modeled on those of kiddush on Shabbat. Halachic consensus is that women are obligated in kiddush on Yom Tov, night and day.
- The festivals are a type of Shabbat in their own right, so the rationale that applies to Shabbat applies to them as well (Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav).
- Alternatively, women are obligated because the obligation of kiddush on Yom Tov is associated with the term “mikra kodesh,” sacred proclamation, being applied to Yom Tov. A number of verses link the term “mikra kodesh” with the prohibition of performing labor. This link parallels the rationale for women’s general obligation in mitzvot of Shabbat (Torat Refael).
How is kiddush recited?
Our sages enacted saying it over wine. (For daytime kiddush, there is more flexibility.) The one reciting kiddush should drink a cheek’s full from the wine, and others present should preferably drink as well.
Typically, the one reciting kiddush pours out cups before kiddush or pours out into another cup after kiddush (and pours from that after drinking).
How does this work for a couple during niddah (ritual impurity tied to menstruation)?
During nidda, there are limitations on one spouse pouring and serving wine for the other.
Nidda concerns can be addressed by the one reciting kiddush putting down the cup down in front of them after making kiddush and the other spouse then taking it. (If the wife made kiddush, then the husband should pour the contents into his own cup before drinking.) Or they can pour out all cups in advance, with each spouse pouring for themselves.
See here for a discussion of a woman discharging others’ obligations in kiddush. Next, we look at some additional practical issues with particular relevance to women.
In Depth
Rav Ezra Bick, Ilana Elzufon, and Shayna Goldberg, eds.
Shabbat Night
The mitzva of Shabbat appears numerous times in the Torah, including as the fourth of aseret ha-diberot, the Ten Commandments. Each of the two iterations of aseret ha-diberot, in Shemot and in Devarim, features a distinct verb and a distinct explanation of the significance of Shabbat, as well as a prohibition against performing labor on Shabbat.
In Shemot, the verse commands us, “zachor,” remember the day of Shabbat. The Torah explains that Creation culminated with God resting on Shabbat and therefore sanctifying it.
שמות כ:ח-יא
זָכוֹר אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְּשׁוֹ: שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים תַּעֲבֹד וְעָשִׂיתָ כָּל מְלַאכְתֶּךָ: וְיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי שַׁבָּת לַה’ אֱלֹקֶיךָ לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה כָל מְלָאכָה אַתָּה וּבִנְךָ וּבִתֶּךָ עַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתְךָ וּבְהֶמְתֶּךָ וְגֵרְךָ אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁעָרֶיךָ: כִּי שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים עָשָׂה ה’ אֶת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֶת הָאָרֶץ אֶת הַיָּם וְאֶת כָּל אֲשֶׁר בָּם וַיָּנַח בַּיּוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי עַל כֵּן בֵּרַךְ ה’ אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת וַיְקַדְּשֵׁהוּ:
Shemot 20:8-11
Remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it. Six days shall you work and perform all of your labor. And the seventh day is Shabbat for the Lord your God, you shall not do any labor, you and your son and your daughter, your bondsman and your maidservant and the stranger that is in your gates. For six days God made the heaven and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; therefore, God blessed the Shabbat day and sanctified it.
In Devarim, the command is “shamor,” keep Shabbat. Here the Torah links Shabbat observance with yetzi’at Mitzrayim, the Exodus, when God freed us from bondage to human masters, who gave us no rest.1
דברים ה:יב-טו
שָׁמוֹר אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְּשׁוֹ כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוְּךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ: שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים תַּעֲבֹד וְעָשִׂיתָ כָּל מְלַאכְתֶּךָ: וְיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי שַׁבָּת לַה’ אֱלֹקֶיךָ לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה כָל מְלָאכָה אַתָּה וּבִנְךָ וּבִתֶּךָ וְעַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתֶךָ וְשׁוֹרְךָ וַחֲמֹרְךָ וְכָל בְּהֶמְתֶּךָ וְגֵרְךָ אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁעָרֶיךָ לְמַעַן יָנוּחַ עַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתְךָ כָּמוֹךָ: וְזָכַרְתָּ כִּי עֶבֶד הָיִיתָ בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם וַיֹּצִאֲךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ מִשָּׁם בְּיָד חֲזָקָה וּבִזְרֹעַ נְטוּיָה עַל כֵּן צִוְּךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ לַעֲשׂוֹת אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת:
Devarim 5:12-15
Keep the day of Shabbat to sanctify it as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days shall you work and perform all of your labor. And the seventh day is Shabbat for the Lord your God, you shall not do any labor, you and your son and your daughter, and your bondsman and your maidservant and your ox and your donkey and all your animals and your stranger that is in your gates, in order that your bondsman and maidservant rest like you. And you will remember that you were a bondsman in the land of Egypt and the Lord your God took you out of there with a strong hand and an outstretched arm; therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to make the day of Shabbat.
Remembering and keeping Shabbat are not identical. Our sages explain that God expressed the two formulations simultaneously at Sinai, in a uniquely Divine fashion:
שבועות כ:
‘זכור’ ו’שמור’ בדיבור אחד נאמרו מה שאין יכול הפה לדבר ומה שאין האוזן יכול לשמוע
Shevu'ot 20b
‘Remember’ and ‘keep’ were said in one utterance. That which the mouth cannot speak and that which the ear cannot hear.
“Remembering” Shabbat is identified with performing the positive commandments of Shabbat, and “keeping” Shabbat with observing the prohibitions of Shabbat. These two aspects of sanctifying Shabbat complement each other.
רמב”ן שמות כ:ח
…כי “זכור” מצות עשה, צוה שנזכור יום השבת לקדשו ולא נשכחהו, “ושמור” אצלם מצות לא תעשה, ש”כל מקום שנאמר השמר פן ואל אינו אלא [ב]לא תעשה” (עירובין צו א), יזהיר שנשמור אותו לקדשו שלא נחללהו…
Ramban, Shemot 20:8
…For “remember” is a positive mitzva, He commanded that we should remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it, and should not forget it. And “keep” for them [the Sages] is a negative mitzva, for “everywhere that it is said ‘keep yourself,’ ‘lest,’ or ‘do not’ – these are only negative mitzvot” (Eiruvin 96a), He cautioned us to keep it to sanctify it and not to desecrate it…
A person can “remember” something mentally, simply by not forgetting it. However, the word “zachor” can also refer to a more concrete act of remembering, a verbal utterance. Kiddush – the archetypal example of a Torah-level positive commandment of Shabbat – is derived from this understanding of the word “zachor“:
ספרא בחוקותי פרשה א:ג
זכור את יום השבת לקדשו יכול בלבך?…מה אני מקיים זכור, שתהי[ה] שונה בפיך.
Sifra Be-chukotai, Parasha 1:3
“Remember the Sabbath to sanctify it.” Could it be in your heart?…How do I expound “remember”? That you repeat it with your mouth.
The Talmud teaches that remembering Shabbat in order to sanctify it entails making a verbal proclamation at the beginning of Shabbat: 2
פסחים קו.
‘זכור את יום השבת לקדשו’ זוכרהו על היין בכניסתו:
Pesachim 106a
Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it: remember it over wine as it enters.
We fulfill this mitzva to speak of Shabbat by reciting kiddush ha-yom, known more simply as kiddush.
The term “kiddush ha-yom” (lit. sanctification of the day) is derived directly from the verse “remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it (le-kadesho).” Yet the beracha of kiddush concludes with the words “Baruch ata Hashem Mekadesh ha-Shabbat” Blessed are You, God, Sanctifier of Shabbat,” because God has invested Shabbat with sanctity, beginning with Divine rest at the end of Creation.3 Given that God has already sanctified Shabbat, what does it mean for us to sanctify it?
According to Rambam, kiddush is a vehicle for us to recognize the God-given sanctity of Shabbat.
ספר המצוות לרמב”ם מצות עשה קנה
והמצוה הקנ”ה היא שצונו לקדש את השבת ולאמר דברים בכניסתו וביציאתו נזכור בם גודל היום הזה ומעלתו והבדלו משאר הימים הקודמים ממנו והבאים אחריו. והוא אמרו יתעלה זכור את יום השבת לקדשו. כלומר זכרהו זכר קדושה והגדלה. וזו היא מצות קדוש….
Sefer Ha-mitzvot, Positive Mitzva 155
The 155th mitzva is that he commanded us to sanctify the Shabbat and to recite words as it enters and as it goes out. We mention in them the greatness of this day and its elevation and its distinction from the other days that precede it and that follow it. And this is what He, may He be elevated, said: Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it. That is to say, remember it [with] a mention of sanctity and magnification. And that is the mitzva of kiddush.
Kiddush, to Rambam, affirms and proclaims Shabbat’s sanctity and greatness, emphasizing its distinction from the other days of the week. (We address havdala in a future piece.)
In his commentary to the Torah, Ramban suggests another approach to this question. He likens kiddush to the beit din‘s pronouncement of the sanctity of the Yovel (Jubilee) year, a declaration that completes the Yovel‘s sanctification. This analogy implies that our recitation of kiddush actively sanctifies Shabbat, investing it with additional holiness.
רמב”ן שמות כ:ח
אבל לרבותינו עוד בו מדרש ממלת לקדשו, שנקדשהו בזכרון, כענין וקדשתם את שנת החמשים שנה (ויקרא כה י), שהוא טעון קדוש ב”ד [=בית דין] לומר ביובל מקודש מקודש, אף כאן צוה שנזכור את יום השבת בקדשנו אותו.
Ramban Shemot 20:8
But our rabbis had a further midrash on it [the verse] from the word “le-kadesho“, that we should sanctify it [Shabbat] through remembering, like the matter of “and you shall sanctify the fiftieth year” (Vayikra 25:10), which requires sanctification by the beit din [religious court] to say on the Yovel “It [the year] is sanctified. It is sanctified.” So too here He commanded that we should remember the Shabbat day in our sanctifying it.”
We’ve seen that the Torah presents the Exodus from Egypt as one explanation for observing Shabbat. Accordingly, a Talmudic passage instructs us to mention the Exodus during kiddush:4
פסחים קיז:
אמר רב אחא בר יעקב: וצריך שיזכיר יציאת מצרים בקידוש היום. כתיב הכא למען תזכר את יום וכתיב התם זכור את יום השבת לקדשו.
Pesachim 117b
Rav Acha bar Yaakov said: And one must mention the Exodus from Egypt in kiddush ha-yom. Here [concerning the mitzvot of Pesach] is written “in order that you remember ” and there [concerning kiddush] is written “remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it.”
The Talmud seems to treat mentioning yetzi’at Mitzrayim as a Torah-level obligation, but some Halachic authorities raise the possibility that it is rabbinic.5
Nighttime kiddush on Shabbat opens with the verses describing the Shabbat of Creation (Bereishit 2:1-3), and calls Shabbat both “zikaron le-ma’aseh Bereishit,” a way to remember Creation, and “zecher li-ytzi’at Mitzrayim” a way to remember the Exodus. Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchick suggests that these themes correspond respectively to the perspectives of Rambam and Ramban on how we sanctify Shabbat through kiddush:
- Mentioning Creation affirms and proclaims Shabbat’s inherent sanctity.
- Mentioning yetzi’at Mitzrayim highlights Shabbat’s commonality with the festivals, which are rooted historically in yetzi’at Mitzrayim and its immediate aftermath. The beit din‘s sanctification of the new month leads to the sanctification of a given day as a festival, or as the Torah puts it, a mikra kodesh, a day proclaimed as sacred. In kiddush we note that Shabbat is the first mikra kodesh, and our active sanctification of Shabbat is similar to the festivals, though it follows upon God’s imbuing Shabbat with sanctity.
גרי”ד סולובייצ’יק, בענין קידוש כמקדש השבת, שעורים לזכר אבא מרי ז”ל, עמ’ 143-144
ישנה, אם כן, לשבת קדושה כפולה: א) קדושת שבת בראשית הקיימת מששת ימי המעשה…ב) קדושת יום טוב ומועד שניתנה לישראל אחרי צאתם ממצרים כמו יתר המועדים…מצות קידוש היום אינה באה רק לספר בשבחו של יום השבת, ולאמר עליו כי הוא מקודש, אלא לקדש את היום….אנו מקדשים את חלות שם מועד מקודש שנמצא בשבת ע”י [=על ידי] מה שאנו אומרים כי הקב”ה [=הקדוש ברוך הוא] ברך וקדש אותו.
Rav Yosef D. Soloveitchick, 'In the matter of Kiddush as Sanctifying Shabbat,' Shi'urim in Memory of my Father and Teacher, pp. 143-144.
If so, Shabbat has a dual sanctity: 1. The sanctity of Shabbat Bereishit, which exists from the six days of doing [of Creation]…2. The sanctity of Yom Tov and an appointed time, which was given to Israel after their Exodus from Egypt like the other appointed times…The mitzva of kiddush serves not only to speak the praises of the Shabbat day, and to say about it that it is sanctified, but to sanctify the day.…We sanctify the instantiation of the name mo’ed mekudash [sacred appointed time] which applies to Shabbat by dint of our saying that God blessed and sanctified it.
Obligation
Women are obligated to observe almost all negative mitzvot. The mitzva to “keep” Shabbat by observing the prohibitions on labor therefore clearly applies to women as well as to men. What of women “remembering” Shabbat, as by reciting kiddush, which is a positive-time bound commandment?
In the Talmud, Rav Ada bar Ahava states that kiddush is obligatory for women:
ברכות כ:
אמר רב אדא בר אהבה: נשים חייבות בקדוש היום דבר תורה. אמאי? מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא הוא, וכל מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא נשים פטורות. אמר אביי: מדרבנן. א”ל [=אמר ליה] רבא: והא דבר תורה קאמר, ועוד כל מצות עשה נחייבינהו מדרבנן? אלא אמר רבא אמר קרא זכור ושמור. כל שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה. והני נשי, הואיל ואיתנהו בשמירה, איתנהו בזכירה
Berachot 20b
Rav Ada bar Ahava said: Women are obligated in kiddush ha-yom as a matter of Torah [law]. Why? It is a positive time-bound commandment, and women are exempt from all positive time-bound commandments. Abbaye said: [They are exempted on a Torah level and obligated] on a rabbinic level. Rava said: But behold he said it is a matter of Torah [law], and furthermore [by that logic] should we rabbinically obligate them in all positive commandments? Rather Rava said: Scripture said “remember” and “keep,” everyone who is included in keeping [negative commandments of Shabbat] is included in remembering [positive commandments of Shabbat]. And these women, since they are included in keeping, are included in remembering.
While Rav Ada bar Ahava maintains that women are obligated in kiddush on a Torah level, Abbaye suggests instead that the obligation is rabbinic. Rava rejects Abbaye’s suggestion, on three grounds:
First, Rav Ada bar Ahava explicitly called the obligation a matter of Torah law.
Second, to posit that women are obligated rabbinically in kiddush might imply that women should be obligated rabbinically in all positive time-bound mitzvot. This would effectively uproot the exemption from positive time-bound mitzvot altogether, a move that Rava considers untenable.
Third, and most decisive, there is a compelling argument to establish women’s Torah-level obligation—the connection of shamor and zachor. Since shamor and zachor were said as one, women are obligated in both, including kiddush, which fulfills zachor. That link overrides the exemption from positive time-bound mitzvot.6
We typically follow Rava’s opinion in his disputes with Abbaye. Halachic consensus is that women are fully obligated in kiddush on a Torah level:
שולחן ערוך או”ח רעא: ב
נשים חייבות בקידוש אף על פי שהוא מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא…, משום דאיתקש זכור (שמות כ, ח) לשמור (דברים ה, יב) והני נשי הואיל ואיתנהו בשמירה איתנהו בזכירה…
Shulchan Aruch OC 271:2
Women are obligated in kiddush even though it is a positive time-bound mitzva, because “remember” (Shemot 20:8) is compared to “keep” (Devarim 5:12), and these women, since they are included in keeping, they are included in remembering.…
Since remembering Shabbat refers to positive commandments of Shabbat in general, this principle extends beyond nighttime kiddush to obligate women in all positive mitzvot of Shabbat:
ר”ן שבת קיז:
שבכל מעשה שבת איש ואשה שוין כדילפינן מזכור ושמור את שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה ובכלל זה הוי כל חיובי שבת.
Ran Shabbat 117b
For in every [mitzva] act of Shabbat, man and woman are equal, as we learn from “remember” and “keep,” who [that] is included in keeping is included in remembering and all Shabbat obligations are in this category.
For example, women, like men, are obligated on Shabbat in the beracha over two loaves of bread, lechem mishneh. (We plan to explore additional aspects of women’s obligations on Shabbat in a future piece.) This principle has implications for daytime kiddush as well, to which we’ll return shortly.
Wine
At first glance, the Talmudic passage about the obligation of reciting kiddush seems to imply that reciting kiddush over wine is part of the Torah-level obligation. However, halachic authorities, including Rambam and Tosafot, maintain that reciting kiddush over wine (as opposed to bread, or no food at all) is a rabbinic obligation.
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:ו
מדברי סופרים לקדש על היין.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:6
To recite kiddush over wine is [obligatory] from the words of the scribes.
תוספות נזיר ד. ד”ה מאי היא
דנהי דקידוש היום דאורייתא, על היין לאו דאורייתא ד”זוכרהו על היין” אסמכתא…
Tosafot Nazir 4a s.v. mai hi
For granted that kiddush is obligatory on a Torah level, over wine is not on a Torah level, for “mention it over wine” is a mnemonic…
The Talmud teaches us that we recite praises over wine.
ברכות לה.
דאמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי יונתן: מנין שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין? שנאמר [שופטים ט:יג] “ותאמר להם הגפן החדלתי את תירושי המשמח אלקים ואנשים,” אם אנשים משמח, אלקים במה משמח? מכאן, שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין!
Berachot 35a
For Rabbi Shemuel son of Nachmani said Rabbi Yochanan said: Whence [do we know] that we only recite song over wine? For it is said (Shofetim 9:13), “And the grapevine said to them: I have ceased my wine that gladdens God and people.” If it gladdens people, how does it gladden God? From here [we learn] that we only recite song over wine.
Sefer Ha-chinuch adds that wine has the power to awaken us spiritually:
ספר החינוך מצוה לא
ועל כן נתחייבנו לעשות המעשה עם היין, לפי שטבע האדם מתעורר בו הרבה שהוא סועד ומשמח…
Sefer Ha-chinuch 31
Therefore we are obligated to do the act with wine, for the nature of a person is aroused within him a great deal when he feasts and makes merry…
Sarah Yehudit Schneider expands on the significance of wine and the beracha of borei peri ha-gefen:7
Sarah Yehudit Schneider, 'A Tribute to Wine,' A Still Small Voice Blog, 2013
Of the five fruits indigenous to Israel only grapes can be processed in such a way that their “status” increases. When eaten off the vine the blessing we say is the same as for all fruits. But when turned into wine (or grape juice), an exclusive blessing gets said that applies only to it. This is because wine is more than a beverage—it is psycho-active substance and, in fact, the archetype of them all. The path that grapes traverse in their odyssey of becoming wine parallels our cosmic journey of expanding consciousness. Wine, as a mind-altering substance, is Torah’s archetype of enlightened consciousness.
The person reciting kiddush raises the full cup (a revi’it, or 86 cc’s worth or more) and holds it in their dominant hand throughout kiddush. It is customary to place the cup on one’s palm, spreading the thumb and fingers around it. The Zohar explains that the cup symbolizes a lily, a metaphor for the Jewish people, and the fingers and thumb are protective leaves around the lily, a metaphor for the five gates of salvation.
זוהר הקדמה א:א
רבי חזקיה פתח כתיב (שיר השירים ב’) כשושנה בין החוחים מאן שושנה דא כנסת ישראל….חמש עלין תקיפין דסחרין לשושנה ואינון חמש אקרון ישועות ואינון חמש תרעין, ועל רזא דא כתיב (תהלים קט”ז) כוס ישועות אשא דא כוס של ברכה, כוס של ברכה אצטריך למהוי על חמש אצבען ולא יתיר, כגוונא דשושנה דיתבא על חמש עלין תקיפין דוגמא דחמש אצבען, ושושנה דא איהו (שם קל”א) כוס של ברכה, מאלהים תניינא עד אלהים תליתאה חמש תיבין….
Zohar 1:1
Rabbi Chizkiya opened: It is written “like a lily among the thorns.” Who is a lily? This is the congregation of Israel…Five strong leaves surround the lily and these fove are called salvation and they are five gates, and about this secret is written “I will lift up the cup of salvation.” This is the cup of beracha. A cup of beracha needs to be upon five fingers and no more, like a lily that sits on five strong leaves represented by five fingers. And this lily is the cup of beracha. From the second [mention of] God to the third [mention of] God, there are five words…
Following kiddush, the one who has recited it should drink melo lugmav, a cheekful (about 44cc’s) from that wine. (Though another attendee can drink the wine if this poses a difficulty.) It is preferred practice for others present to drink following kiddush as well, though this is not obligatory:
שולחן ערוך או”ח רעא:יד
אם לא טעם המקדש, וטעם אחד מהמסובין כמלא לוגמיו (פי[רוש] מלא פיו), יצא….ומ”מ [=ומכל מקום] מצוה מן המובחר שיטעמו כולם….והגאונים סוברים שאם לא טעם המקדש לא יצא, וראוי לחוש לדבריהם.
Shulchan Aruch OC 271:14
If the one reciting kiddush did not taste [the wine] and one of those eating tasted a cheekful (meaning filling his mouth), he has discharged his obligation…And in any case the preferred mitzva is that all should taste [the wine]…And the Ge’onim thought that if the reciter of kiddush did not taste [the wine] he did not discharge his obligation, and it is fitting to be concerned for their words.
Typically, the one reciting kiddush pours out cups for everyone before kiddush or pours out into another cup after kiddush (from which the reciter will pour for others after drinking, ideally leaving a revi’it or more in the kiddush cup from which the reciter drinks).
Kiddush During Nidda
A practical question that often arises concerns a married couple during nidda (the period of ritual impurity tied to menstruation). During nidda, one spouse may not pour and serve a glass of wine (or grape juice, etc.) for the other in their presence. Furthermore, a man may not even send his wife a glass of wine—in a cup meant just for her—during nidda.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:י
כל מלאכות שהאשה עושה לבעלה נדה עושה לו, חוץ ממזיגת הכוס, שאסורה למזוג הכוס בפניו על השלחן אא”כ [=אלא אם כן] תעשה שום היכר, כגון שתניחנו על השלחן ביד שמאל…
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:10
All types of labor that a woman performs for her husband, she does for him in nidda, except for: mixing the drink, for she is prohibited from mixing the drink before him at the table, unless she makes a recognizable sign [that she is in nidda], such as placing it on the table with the left hand.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:יג
כשם שאסורה למזוג לו כך הוא אסור למזוג לה; ולא עוד, אלא אפילו לשלוח לה כוס של יין אסור, לא שנא כוס של ברכה לא שנא כוס אחר, אם הוא מיוחד לה; אבל אם שותים הם מאותו הכוס ושתית איהי אבתרייהו, לית לן בה.
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:10
Just as she is prohibited from mixing for him, so he is prohibited from mixing [a drink] for her, and not only that but even to send her a cup of wine is prohibited, regardless of whether it is a cup of beracha or a different cup, if it is especially for her. But if they drink from the same cup, and she drinks after him, there is no [halachic concern] for us.
An additional issue relevant specifically to a woman reciting kiddush for her husband is that a husband may not drink his wife’s leftover beverage from her cup directly after her.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:ד
לא ישתה משיורי כוס ששתתה היא. הגה: אם לא שמפסיק אדם אחר ביניהם , או שהורק מכוס זה אל כוס אחר אפילו הוחזר לכוס ראשון…והיא מותרת לשתות מכוס ששתה הוא….
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:4
He should not drink from the leftovers of a cup from which she has drunk. Rema: If no other person breaks [i.e., drinks] between them, or if the cup was emptied from this cup to another cup even if [the liquid] was returned to the first cup…And she is permitted to drink from a cup from which he drank.
In his compendium on the laws of nidda, Rav Elyashiv Knohl offers some practical suggestions for when a husband makes kiddush:
רב אלישיב קנוהל, איש ואשה, פרק ז
יניח את הכוס עם היין על השולחן שלא לפניה, והיא תיקח, או מישהו אחר יעביר לה את הכוס. דרך נוספת…ימזוג לכמה כוסות עבור כל המשתתפים בסעודה, ותיקח גם היא את אחת הכוסות.. אין איסור שהיא תשתה מאותה הכוס שהוא שתה ממנה ללא המשלוח המיוחד.
Rav Elyashiv Knohl, The Marriage Covenant, ch. 7 (trans. Kaeren Fish and Eli D. Clark)
Either he may place the cup on the table, not directly in front of her, or someone else should pass it to her. Alternatively, the husband can pour wine into several different cups, and each person – including his wife – can then take his or her cup. Though the husband may not pass his cup to his wife, she is permitted to drink from his cup.
Here are some popular ways to navigate this situation:
- It’s often easiest for the one reciting kiddush to put the cup down in front of them after making kiddush and for the other spouse then to take it. If the husband made kiddush he can drink before putting the cup down since his wife is allowed to drink his leftovers. If the wife made kiddush, then the husband should pour the contents into his own cup before drinking.
- Alternatively, the couple can ensure that all cups are poured out in advance, with each spouse pouring their own cup.
- When others are present, the one reciting kiddush can pass the cup around, not starting with their spouse, or can pour the wine into smaller cups (before or after kiddush) not having a specific cup in mind for their spouse.
- When children are present, giving a child the job of allotting kiddush wine to others can both simplify matters halachically and raise the child’s level of engagement in kiddush.
Daytime Kiddush
If the mitzva of kiddush is to recognize the sanctity of Shabbat and complete its sanctification “as it enters,” i.e., at night, then why do we recite kiddush during the daytime?
The Talmud first provides a technical explanation—the verse includes a seemingly superfluous word modifying Shabbat, “yom,” “day”—and continues with an instructive anecdote about the daytime kiddush, known as kiddusha rabba (lit. great kiddush).
פסחים קו.
זכור את יום השבת לקדשו – זוכרהו על היין בכניסתו. אין לי אלא בלילה, ביום מנין – תלמוד לומר זכור את יום השבת. ביום מאי מברך? – אמר רב יהודה: בורא פרי הגפן. רב אשי איקלע למחוזא, אמרו ליה: ליקדיש לן מר קידושא רבה. הבו ליה. סבר: מאי ניהו קידושא רבה? אמר: מכדי כל הברכות כולן בורא פרי הגפן אמרי ברישא, אמר בורא פרי הגפן ואגיד ביה. חזייה לההוא סבא דגחין ושתי. קרי אנפשיה החכם עיניו בראשו.
Pesachim 106a
Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it: remember it over wine as it [Shabbat] enters. I only have at night, during the day [is derived] from where? The verse teaches: Remember the day of Shabbat. During the day what blessing does he recite? Rav Yehuda said: Borei peri ha-gafen. Rav Ashi traveled to Machoza. They said to him: Let Master recite kiddusha rabba for us. They gave [the cup] to him. He thought: What is kiddusha rabba? He said: Since with all berachot they say borei peri ha-gafen at the beginning—he said borei peri ha-gafen and drew it out. He saw an elderly man who bent over and drank. He [Rav Ashi] said of himself “a wise man has his eyes in his head.”
The story of Rav Ashi’s successful improvisation highlights the difference between nighttime kiddush and kiddusha rabba. Kiddush at night includes two berachot – borei peri ha-gafen over wine, followed by a longer beracha over the sanctity of Shabbat itself. Daytime kiddush is simply the beracha over wine. Although this beracha makes no mention of Shabbat–and can be recited on a weekday as well–it nevertheless functions as kiddush by elevating the daytime Shabbat meal:
בית הבחירה למאירי פסחים קו.
…והרי אף בחול אם בא לשתות צריך לברך כן מ”מ [=מכל מקום] הואיל ועל ידי תקנה הוא בא ברכת חובה היא ומאחר שהיא ברכת חובה אף היא קרויה קידוש שאף היא לכך תקנוה שיהא היום מתקדש על ידו להיות סעודתו חשובה כשהיא נקבעת על היין.
Me'iri Pesachim 106a
…For behold even on a weekday if he is about to drink, he needs to recite this beracha . Nevertheless, since [kiddusha rabba] comes by way of an enactment, it is an obligatory beracha, and since it is an obligatory beracha, it is also called kiddush. For it was indeed enacted for this, that the day be sanctified through it, that one’s meal be important when it is established over wine.
In discussion of this passage from the Talmud, a number of early halachic authorities, Ran among them, treat the textual derivation as a mere asmachta, a sort of mnemonic device, and thus view kiddusha rabba as rabbinic and its name as a sort of euphemism (since it is not particularly “great”). Ran also offers two non-textual explanations for why we recite kiddusha rabba:
חידושי הר”ן פסחים קו.
אין לי אלא בלילה ביום מנין ת”ל [=תלמוד לומר] את יום, משמע לי דהך דרשא אסמכתא בעלמא היא דאי קדושא דיממא מדאורייתא היכי לא אמרי[נן] אלא בורא פרי הגפן ותו לא, והרי ברכה זו ברכת הנהנין היא ולא מעין קדוש, אלא קדושא דאורייתא דליליא הוא דהוי בכניסתו, אלא משום דכבוד יום עדיף מכבוד לילה ראו חכמים לעשות ביום זכר לקדוש דהיינו בפ”ה [בורא פרי הגפן] ותו לא שהוא התחלת קדוש של לילה, ועוד שלפי שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין כיון שמברכים על היין בתחלה שלא כדרך שאר סעודות הוי כעין שירה ושבח לקדושתו של יום, ומשום דלא הוי אלא מדרבנן לא ראו להאריך בו יותר כדי שלא להשותו לקדוש של לילה, וקראוהו קדושא רבא לכנוי לפי שאינו עקר כקדוש של לילה וזוטר שיעוריה כדקרי[נן] לסמיא סגי נהור…. דתקנוה רבנן כעין קדוש…
Ran Pesachim 106a
I only have at night, during the day [is derived] from where? The verse teaches “et yom.” This expounding sounds to me like a mere mnemonic, for if kiddush of the daytime is on a Torah level, how is it that we only say borei peri ha-gafen and nothing further? For this beracha is a birkat ha-nehenin [beracha over taking enjoyment] and is not like kiddush. Rather, kiddush on a Torah level is at night, for it is as it [Shabbat] enters, but because the honor of the day[‘s meal] is greater than the honor of the night[‘s], our sages saw fit to make a reminder of kiddush during the day, which is borei peri-ha-gafen and nothing further, which is the beginning of kiddush at night. And furthermore, since we only recite song over wine, since we recite a beracha over wine at the beginning [of the daytime Shabbat meal], which is not the way of other meals, it is similar to a song and praise to the sanctity of the day. And since it is only rabbinic, they [the sages] did not see fit to make it longer, so as not to equate it with the nighttime kiddush. And they called it kiddusha rabba as a nickname since it is not essential like kiddush at night, and its measure is small, much as we call a blind person [euphemistically one of] great light]…For our sages enacted it similarly to kiddush…
According to Ran, our sages enacted kiddusha rabba as a reminder of kiddush (zecher le-kiddush) in the daytime chiefly in order to begin the meal with honor,8 in line with a Talmudic principle that we should honor the daytime meal more than the nighttime meal. Next, Ran notes that Halacha views wine as a vehicle for song and praise, so that our taking care to begin the meal with a beracha over wine is an implicit act of praising God for Shabbat.9 (Other alcoholic drinks—like brandy—can stand in for wine for kiddusha rabba when the person reciting it prefers them.10)
This could also explain the widespread custom to recite Biblical verses about Shabbat as a prologue to kiddusha rabba, even though only the beracha of borei peri ha-gafen is halachically required, since these verses make our praise explicit.11
Obligation
Are women obligated in kiddusha rabba? We have seen, based on the Talmud and Shulchan Aruch, that women are obligated in nighttime kiddush on a Torah level. We have also seen that early halachic authorities rule that women are subject to “all obligations of Shabbat.” It would seem to follow that women should be obligated in kiddusha rabba.
Most early halachic authorities do not discuss women’s obligation in kiddusha rabba beyond the general statement that women and men have equivalent Shabbat obligations. Surprisingly, Maharam Chalava, a contemporary of Ran, states that women are exempt, a view that he attributes to Rashba.
מהר”ם חלאווה פסחים קו.
דאין זה קדוש ממש שכבר נתקדש היום…אלא שהחכמים תקנו לקבוע סעודתו על היין ומסמכי לי[ה] אקרא…ומינה נמי דנשים פטורות ממנו כיון דאינו אלא מדרבנן. והכין חזינא בבי רב…בפטור הנשים.
Maharam Chalava Pesachim 106a
For this is not really kiddush, for the day was already sanctified…Rather the sages enacted to establish one’s meal over wine and attached it to a verse….and from it also [we learn] that women are exempt from it since it is only rabbinic, and thus we saw in the house of Rav [Rashba]…with regard to the exemption of women.
It’s not entirely clear why Maharam Chalava exempts women from kiddusha rabba. His stated reason, similar to Ran’s first explanation, is that kiddusha rabba is only a rabbinic enactment for the purpose of elevating the Shabbat meal, and not a real kiddush. Especially given that women are obligated in candle-lighting, a positive rabbinic-level mitzva of Shabbat, it is unlikely that he intends to exempt women from all such mitzvot. Rather, he may see the enactment of kiddusha rabba as being less significant than other mitzvot of Shabbat, so that our sages did not obligate women in it.
Later authorities, including Peri Meggadim, write explicitly that “all obligations of Shabbat” include matters of rabbinic law such as kiddusha rabba, since women are obligated in rabbinic Shabbat prohibitions.
פרי מגדים או”ח משבצות זהב רפט
דע, קידוש היום דרבנן, ואפילו הכי נשים חייבות בו, וכמו שכתב המ”א [סימן] רצ”א אות י”א כל מילי דשבת איש ואשה שוין, אף בדרבנן, כל שישנו בשמירה מדרבנן מוקצה ושבותים, ישנו בזכירה דקידוש היום.
Peri Meggadim OC Mishbetzot Zahav 289
Know, kiddush during the day is rabbinic, and even so women are obligated in it, as Magen Avraham wrote in 291:11, in all matters of Shabbat man and women are equal, even in rabbinic matters, whoever is included in rabbinic aspects of keeping—muktzeh and shevutim [rabbinic prohibitions], is included in remembering of kiddush…
The view that women are obligated in kiddusha rabba has been widely accepted.
שמירת שבת כהלכתה ב מז:ו
אחד האנשים ואחד הנשים חייבים בקידוש בכניסת היום…וכן חייבים בקידוש ביום.
Shemirat Shabbat Ke-hilcheta II 47:6
Both men and women are obligated in kiddush as the day enters [at night]…and similarly they are obligated in kiddush in the daytime.
Yom Tov Kiddush
A midrash halacha teaches that we recite kiddush over wine at night on Yom Tov, as on Shabbat, because the Torah instructs us to proclaim the festivals as sacred times of assembly:
מכילתא יתרו – מסכתא שבחדש פרשה ז
לקדשו, לקדשו בברכה, מכאן אמרו מקדשין על היין בכניסתו…אין לי אלא שבת, ימים טובים מנין, ת”ל [=תלמוד לומר] (ויקרא כג:לז) אֵלֶּה מוֹעֲדֵי ה’ [אֲשֶׁר תִּקְרְאוּ אֹתָם מִקְרָאֵי קֹדֶשׁ] וגו’.
Mechilta Yitro Masechta She-bachodesh 7
To sanctify it: to sanctify it with a beracha. From here they said: We recite kiddush over wine as it [Shabbat] enters…I only have Shabbat. Whence do [we learn of] Yom Tov? The verse teaches us (Vayikra 23:37), “These are the appointed times of God [which you will proclaim as sacred proclamations]” etc.
The Talmud follows suit, stipulating that, on both Shabbat and Yom Tov, we recite kiddush at night, but not in the daytime.12 Rashbam explains that we recite borei peri ha-gafen on both Shabbat and Yom Tov in the daytime, i.e., kiddusha rabba. 13
פסחים דף קה.
לילי שבת ולילי יום טוב יש בהן קדושה על הכוס…שבת ויום טוב אין בהם קדושה על הכוס…
Pesachim 105a
Shabbat and Yom Tov nights have kiddush over a cup…Shabbat and Yom Tov [day] don’t have kiddush over a cup…
רשב”ם פסחים קה.
אין בהן קדושה על הכוס – כי אם בורא פרי הגפן לבד.
Rashbam Pesachim 105a
They don’t have kiddush over a cup – except for borei peri ha-gafen on its own.
Like kiddush ha-yom on Shabbat, kiddush on the night of Yom Tov makes note of our chosenness and yetzi’at Mitzrayim, and singles out the special day by name as a mikra kodesh, a sacred proclamation.
As opposed to kiddush on Shabbat, kiddush on Yom Tov also highlights the joyous nature of the day, and concludes with the beracha of “mekadesh Yisrael ve-hazemanim,” blessing God “Who sanctifies Yisrael and the [appointed] times.”14 The beracha mentions Yisrael because the calendar is established through the beit din‘s sanctification of the new month. The Jewish people thus take a greater role in sanctifying Yom Tov than in sanctifying Shabbat.
Rambam presents kiddush on Yom Tov in the context of the laws of Shabbat, and highlights its similarity to kiddush on Shabbat:
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:יח
כשם שמקדשין בלילי שבת…כך מקדשין בלילי ימים טובים…שכולם שבתות ה’ הן.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:18
Just as we recite kiddush on Shabbat nights …so we recite kiddush on Yom Tov nights…for all of them are Shabbatot of God.
A little later, he repeats this point with respect to kiddusha rabba of Yom Tov:
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:כא
בליל יום טוב מקדש על היין כבשבת…וכן ביום טוב מקדש קידושא רבא כדרך שמקדש בשבת.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:21
On the night of Yom Tov one recites kiddush over wine as on Shabbat…And so on Yom Tov one recites kiddusha rabba in the manner that one recites kiddush on Shabbat.
There is widespread consensus that the laws of kiddush on Yom Tov are like those of kiddush on Shabbat. Still, many halachic authorities maintain that the midrash’s prooftext is an asmachta, more mnemonic than strict derivation, so kiddush even on the night of Yom Tov is a rabbinic-level obligation.
מגיד משנה הלכות שבת כט:יח
ודע שאין קידוש יום טוב דבר תורה:
Maggid Mishna, Laws of Shabbat 29:18
Know that the kiddush of Yom Tov is not a Torah matter.
Obligation
As we learned in our piece on the mitzvot of the Seder, women are obligated in the four cups:
פסחים קח.
ואמר רבי יהושע בן לוי: נשים חייבות בארבעה כוסות הללו, שאף הן היו באותו הנס.
Pesachim 108a
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: Women are obligated in these four cups, for they indeed/too (af hen) were part of that miracle.
The first cup of the four is kiddush, so women are clearly obligated in kiddush on the first night of Pesach (or two nights, outside of Israel).
What of the other recitations of kiddush on Yom Tov? Rabbi Akiva Eiger states that it is a positive time-bound mitzva from which women are exempt, and women who recite or hear these recitations do so as a matter of voluntary mitzva performance.
שו”ת רבי עקיבא איגר מהדורא קמא א
רוב נשי דידן מחמירין לעצמן וזהירות וזריזות לקיים רוב מ”ע שהז”ג [=מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמא], כגון שופר סוכה לולב וכן בקידוש יום טוב והוי כקיבלו עלייהו
Responsa of Rabbi Akiva Eiger First Edition 1
Most of our women are stringent for themselves and are careful and quick to fulfill the majority of positive time-bound commandments, such as shofar, sukka, lulav, and similarly kiddush on Yom Tov, and it is as though they have accepted it upon themselves [as a binding custom].
Minchat Chinuch suggests that women are only obligated in kiddush on Yom Tov according to the view that it is a Torah-level mitzva:15
מנחת חינוך מצוה לא
…בקידוש י”ט [=יום טוב] אי נימא שהוא מה”ת [=מן התורה] אפשר שהוא שוה לשבת גם לענין נשים שחייבים אך אם נימא שהוא מדרבנן אפשר דאין נשי[ם] חייבות…
Minchat Chinuch 31
…Regarding kiddush on Yom Tov, if we say that it is obligatory on a Torah level, it is possible that it is equivalent to Shabbat also regarding women, that they are obligated. But if we say that it is rabbinic, it is possible that women are not obligated…
Many other halachic authorities disagree and maintain that women are obligated, for one of two reasons:
I. The Comparison to Shabbat Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav rules that women are obligated in kiddush on Yom Tov because of its halachic similarity to kiddush on Shabbat:
שולחן ערוך הרב או”ח רעא:ד-ה
הקידוש ביום טוב הוא מדברי סופרים ואעפ”כ [=ואף על פי כן] יש לו כל דיני קידוש של שבת לכל דבר…נשים חייבות בקידוש היום בשבת מן התורה וביו”ט [=וביום טוב] מדברי סופרים ואף על פי שכל מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא נשים פטורות ממנה בקידוש היום חייבות שנאמר זכור את יום וגו’ ונאמר שמור את יום וגו’ כל שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה…
Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav OC 271:4-5
Kiddush on Yom Tov is rabbinic and even so, it has all the laws of kiddush of Shabbat for every matter…Women are obligated in kiddush on Shabbat on a Torah level and on Yom Tov on a rabbinic level, and even though women are exempt from all positive time-bound commandments, they are obligated in kiddush, for it is said “Remember the [Shabbat] day…” and it is said “Keep the [Shabbat] day…” Everyone who is included in keeping is included in remembering…
Why does Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav treat the link between zachor and shamor as an explanation for women’s obligation in kiddush on Yom Tov, and not just on Shabbat? Rav Moshe Feinstein explains that the festivals are—as Rambam put it—a type of Shabbat in their own right, so the same rationale that applies to Shabbat applies to them as well.16
שו”ת אגרות משה אורח חיים ד:ק
הנה כתב הרמב”ם פכ”ט מהל’ שבת הל’ י”ח…שהטעם שמקדשים ביום טוב מפני שגם הוא נקרא שבתות ה’ וא”כ [=ואם כן] נכלל בזכור את יום השבת לקדשו, ואף אם אסמכתא דרבנן היא כמו שכתב שם המגיד משנה הלא נתקן על מחויבי מצוה של שבת ונשים בכלל…דהא בשביל השמירה ממלאכה נקראו שבתות לכן יש לחייב נשים גם בקידוש דיו”ט [=דיום טוב] אף אם קידוש יום טוב הוא רק מדרבנן…וגם יש ראיה מהא דחייבות בקידוש של ליל פסח שהוא אחד מהארבע כוסות ודוחק לומר שמשונה קידוש זו משאר קידושי יום טוב.
Iggerot Moshe OC IV 100
Behold Rambam wrote in the laws of Shabbat 29:18…that the reason that we recite kiddush on Yom Tov is because they, too are called “Shabbatot of God.” And if so, it is included in “Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it,” and even if it is a rabbinic mnemonic as Maggid Mishna wrote there, was it not enacted for those who are obligated in the mitzva obligations of Shabbat, and women are included…for on account of the keeping from [performing] labor they were called Shabbatot. Therefore, one should obligate women, too, in kiddush of Yom Tov, even if kiddush of Yom Tov is merely rabbinic…And there is also a proof from that women are obligated in kiddush on the night of Pesach, for it is one of the four cups. And would be forced to say that this kiddush is different from the other kiddushes on Yom Tov.
II. Mikra Kodesh and Not Performing Labor Rav Refael Shapira of Volozhin suggests an alternative explanation for women’s obligation in kiddush on Yom Tov, with reference to the midrash halacha that derived the obligation to recite kiddush on Yom Tov from its being called a “mikra kodesh“:
תורת רפאל צ
אבל נראה די”ל [=דיש לומר] דגם בקידושא דיו”ט [=דיום טוב] נמי נשים חייבות דהא כתיב מקרא קדש יהי[ה] לכם כל מלאכת עבודה לא תעשו. וא”כ [=ואם כן] אמרינן כל שישנו בכל מלאכת עבודה לא תעשו ישנו במקרא קדש יהי[ה] לכם וכדאי[תא] בפסחים (דף מ”ג) כל שישנו בבל תאכל חמץ ישנו בקום אכול מצה.
Torat Refael 90
But it seems that one can say that also regarding kiddush of Yom Tov women are likewise obligated, for it is written “it will be a sacred proclamation for you, don’t do any labor of work.” And if so, we can say all that are included in “don’t do any labor of work” are included in “it will be a sacred proclamation for you” and, as it says in Pesachim, “whoever is included in [the mitzva of] not eating chametz is included in [the mitzva of] eating matza.
The verse describing Yom Tov as “mikra kodesh” that Mechilta cites appears in Vayikra 23. In that same chapter, other verses create a connection between “mikra kodesh” and not performing labor. This resembles the link between observing the negative commandments of Pesach and the positive ones, and parallels the rationale for women’s general obligation in mitzvot of Shabbat.17
Halachic consensus is that women are obligated in kiddush on Yom Tov, at night and during the day:
שמירת שבת כהלכתא ב מז:ו
אחד האנשים ואחד הנשים חייבים בקידוש בכניסת היום, בין בשבת ובין ביו”ט [=ביום טוב], וכן חייבים בקידוש ביום…
Shemirat Shabbat Ke-hilcheta II 47:6
Both men and women are obligated in kiddush, whether on Shabbat or on Yom Tov, and similarly they are obligated in kiddush during the daytime.
How should women relate to kiddush?
We’ve devoted a lot of space on Deracheha to discussing women’s options for voluntary mitzva performance when women are exempt from a mitzva. Some of these mitzvot, like reciting Shema or hearing shofar, have been widely accepted by many women in many communities for generations. In these cases, despite women’s technical exemption, the mitzvot are perceived as belonging to everyone, since women so often have the merit of fulfilling them.
Kiddush occupies a different space. It is a mitzva in which women are fully obligated, and yet it is often perceived or treated as a men’s mitzva. The roots of this perception are clear. Public recitations of kiddush are generally made by men, and it is customary for a man to recite kiddush in the home.
But women are fully obligated in kiddush, and not every household has a male member of bar mitzva age. Even in homes in which a male of age resides, it is not a given that he will make kiddush.
Sometimes the perception that kiddush is a men’s mitzva is so strong that a woman hesitates to make kiddush for herself. This made some sense when literacy rates among women were low. It makes less sense now as women’s literacy has grown. A woman or group of women should feel comfortable making kiddush for themselves — whether they are students in a midrasha, new mothers in a maternity ward dining room, members of an all-female household, or women whose husbands haven’t yet come home from shul on Shabbat morning. And, because she is obligated, a woman can discharge a man’s obligation in kiddush. (We discuss women’s discharging men’s obligation in kiddush in practice here.)
Halacha does not dictate how we should feel about a woman making kiddush. Some women may savor the opportunity to recite kiddush, while others, especially those divorced or widowed, may find it emotionally difficult. Regardless of how a woman might feel about reciting kiddush, it is critical for all members of our community to recognize that the mitzva of kiddush is fully obligatory for women. That means that we should all do our best to help ensure that women can fulfill the mitzva of kiddush, whether by hearing or reciting it.
We’ve seen how we proclaim and enhance the sanctity of Shabbat and Yom Tov by reciting kiddush, and that women and men are equally obligated in all recitations of it. Next, we look at some practical issues with particular relevance to women: she-hechiyyanu on Yom Tov night, discharging others’ obligations, and eating before kiddush.
Notes
Rambam, Guide to the Perplexed II:31 (Friedlander Translation)
the fact that God has given us the law of the Sabbath and commanded us to keep it, is the consequence of our having been slaves; for then our work did not depend on our will, nor could we choose the time for it; and we could not rest.
2. See also Mechilta:
מכילתא יתרו מסכתא שבחדש פרשה ז
“לקדשו”- בברכה. מיכן אמרו: מקדשין על היין בכניסתו.
Mechilta Yitro Masechta She-bachodesh 7
“To sanctify it” with a beracha. From here they said we recite kiddush over wine as it [Shabbat] enters.
4. Torah Temima suggests that Rav Acha bar Ya’akov is referring to kiddush on Pesach, not on Shabbat:
תורה תמימה הערות שמות כ הערה נד
מי מלל לרבותינו דרב אחא בר יעקב איירי כאן בכלל לענין שבת, בעוד שבכל הסוגיא הזאת לפניה ולאחריה לא נזכר מענין יום השבת, ורק איירי מפסח ומנוסח ההגדה של פסח והלל ותפלות אך ורק של פסח ותו לא, וא”כ [=ואם כן] אין ספק לדעתי שרב אחא בר יעקב איירי גם הוא לענין פסח, והיינו שצריך להזכיר יצי”מ [=יציאת מצרים] בקידוש היום של פסח
Torah Temima Shemot 20, note 54
Who told our sages that Rav Acha bar Ya’akov is dealing here with the matter of Shabbat at all, when in all of this topic before it and after it the matter of the Shabbat day is not mentioned, and it only deals with Pesach and the language of the Pesach haggada and Hallel and tefillot, only of Pesach and nothing further, And if so, there is no doubt in my mind that Rav Acha bar Ya’akov is also dealing with the matter of Pesach, and that is that one must mention yetzi’at Mitzrayim in kiddush of Pesach.
5. Rambam seems to view the obligation as Biblical. In his Bei’ur Halacha, Mishna Berura proposes that Magen Avraham—who maintains that one can fulfill the Torah-level obligation through the Shabbat evening prayer—views it as rabbinic:
ביאור הלכה רעא:א ד”ה * מיד – ואפילו
ולענ”ד [ולפי עניות דעתי] יש ליישב דבריו קצת או דסובר דהוא רק מדרבנן והגז”ש [=והגזרה שווה] הוא אסמכתא בעלמא.
Bei'ur Halacha 271:1 s.v. mi-yad ve-afilu
In my humble opinion one can reconcile his [Magen Avraham’s] words a bit. Perhaps he thinks that it [mentioning yetzi’at Mitzrayim] is only rabbinic, and the gezeira shava [textual derivation from similar words] is merely a mnemonic.
6. Elsewhere in the Talmud this principle is attributed not to Rava but to Rav Ada bar Ahava himself.
שבועות כ:
דאמר רב אדא בר אהבה: נשים חייבות בקידוש היום דבר תורה, דאמר קרא: זכור ושמור. כל שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה, והני נשי הואיל ואיתנהו בשמירה איתנהו נמי בזכירה.
Shevu'ot 20b
For Rav Ada bar Ahava said: Women are obligated in kiddush as a matter of Torah law, for the verse said “remember” and “keep.” Everyone included in keeping is included in remembering, and these women, since they are included in keeping, are also included in remembering.
שאילתות דרב אחאי פרשת כי תשא שאילתא סה
אמר רב יהודה אייתויי כסא דחמרא וברוכי בורא פרי הגפן ומישתא משום כבוד שבת.
She'iltot of Rav Achai Ga'on Ki Tisa 65
Rav Yehuda said, bring a cup of wine and recite the beracha of borei peri ha-gafen and drink on account of honor of Shabbat.
ברכות מב:
אמר רבה בר בר חנה אמר רבי יוחנן: לא שנו אלא בשבתות וימים טובים, הואיל ואדם קובע סעודתו על היין.
Berachot 42b
Rabba bar bar Chana said Rabbi Yochanan said: They only taught it regarding Shabbatot and Yamim Tovim, since a person establishes his meal over wine.
פסקי רי”ד פסחים קו.
קרי ליה קידוש שקבעו חכמ[ים] ביום השבת ברכת היין תחילה שיראה כי הוא קובע סעודתו על היין, כדתנן בכיצד מברכין שבשבתות וימים טובים אדם קובע סעודתו על היין.
Piskei Rid Pesachim 106a
They call it kiddush, that our sages established on Shabbat day a blessing over wine first, so that one shows that he establishes his meal over wine, as we learn in the sixth chapter of Berachot, that on Shabbat and Yom Tov a person establishes his meal over wine.
רשב”ם פסחים קו.
אמר רב יהודה בפה”ג [=בורא פרי הגפן]. אתאי כסא דחמרא וברוכי ומשתי משום כבוד שבת לחלק בין מדת שבת למדת חול שהוא ענין שיר שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין והכי מפרש בשאילתות דרב אחאי בפרשת וישמע יתרו:
Rashbam Pesachim 106a
Rav Yehuda said borei peri ha-gafen. A cup of wine came and they recited a beracha and drank because of the honor of Shabbat, in order to distinguish between the quality of Shabbat and the quality of a regular day, which is a matter of song, for we only say song over wine and thus he explains in She’iltot of Rav Achai in parashat Yitro.
חיי אדם חלק ב-ג (הלכות שבת ומועדים) כלל ו סעיף יח
גם בשחרית צריך לקדש על כוס של רביעית. ומצוה מן המובחר לקדש על היין גם בשחרית. ואם חביב לו יין שרף, יזהר שיהיה הכוס מחזיק רביעית וישתה מלא לוגמיו.
Chayyei Adam II Kelal 6:18
Also in the morning one must recite kiddush over a cup with a revi’it. And it is the preferred mitzva to recite kiddush over wine also in the morning. But if brandy is dear to him, he should take care that his cup contains a revi’it and he should drink a cheek’s full.
משנה ברורה רעב:כט-ל
…במדינתנו שהיין ביוקר ורוב שתיית המדינה הוא משאר משקין לא נהגו אפילו הגדולים להדר אחר יין ביום שהקידוש שלו הוא רק מדרבנן לכו”ע [=לכולי עלמא] וסומכין עצמן על דברי המקילין בזה ומי שמברך גם ביום על היין ודאי עושה מצוה מן המובחר: על שכר – ואם חביב לו יין שרוף יכול לקדש עליו ביום לכתחלה במדינתנו שהוא חמר מדינה.
Mishna Berura 272:29-30
…In our country where wine is expensive and most drinking in the country is of other drinks, even the great ones were not accustomed to seek after wine during the day, for its kiddush is only rabbinic according to all opinions and they rely on the words of those who are lenient with this. And someone who recites the beracha during the day over wine certainly performs the mitzva in a preferable manner. Liquor: And if brandy is dear to him then he can recite kiddush over it during the day le-chat’chila [from the outset] in our land, for it is a wine of the land [chamar medina].
ערוך השולחן אורח חיים סימן רפט:ג
ובגמ’ שם קראו לה קידושא רבה ע”ד [=על דרך] סגי נהור ועוד מפני שברכה זו יש בכל הקידושים [רש”י ורשב”ם שם] ויש שאומרים קודם הקידוש פסוקי זכור את יום השבת ויש שמתחילין על כן ברך אם כי הוא באמצע הפסוק דאין כוונתן להפסוק אלא להקדים דברים וי”א [=ויש אומרים] מזמור לדוד ד’ רועי וי”א [=ויש אומרים] פרשת בזיכין אבל מגמ’ שם מוכח להדיא שלא אמרו שום דבר ורק פתחו בברכת הגפן ושתו […וכן ראיתי בילדותי לגדולים שלא אמרו כלום קודם הקידוש הזה]:
Aruch Ha-shulchan OC 289:3
In the gemara there they called it kiddusha rabba in the manner of a euphemisim, and also because this beracha is in all the kiddushim. And some recite before kiddush the verses of “Remember the Shabbat day,” and there are those who begin “Therefore He blessed…,” although this is in the middle of the verse, for their intention was not for the verse but to introduce with words. And some recite “A Psalm of David, the Lord is my shepherd…” and some recite the portion of bazichin. But from the gemara there it is clearly proven that they did not say anything and only opened with the blessing over the vine and drank […and thus I saw in my youth, great Torah scholars who said nothing before this kiddush].
12. Compare Tosefta here:
תוספתא ברכות (ליברמן) ג:ח
לילי שבתו[ת] ולילי ימים טובים יש בהן קדושת היום על הכוס… שבת ויום טוב ראש חודש וחולו של מועד…ואין בהן קדושת היום על הכוס.
Tosefta Berachot (Lieberman) 3:8
Shabbat and Yom Tov nights have kiddush over a cup…Shabbat and Yom Tov, Rosh Chodesh, and Chol Ha-mo’ed…don’t have kiddush over a cup.
13. Maharam Chalava, however, suggests that there is no kiddusha rabba whatsoever on Yom Tov, based on a text of Tosefta that omits mention of Shabbat next to Yom Tov:
חידושי מהר”ם חלאווה פסחים קו.
יו”ט [=יום טוב] אין בו קדושת היום על הכוס אא”כ [=אלא אם כן] נאמר דשבוש יש בגרסא ו”שבת ויו”ט [=ויום טוב]” גרסינן…אלא דמדעריב לי[ה] ותני יו”ט [=יום טוב] בהדי ר”ח וחוש”מ [=ראש חודש וחולו של מועד] משמע דכי היכי דבר”ח וחוש”מ [=דבראש חודש וחולו של מועד] ליכא אפי[לו] בפה”ג [=בורא פרי הגפן] ה”נ ביו”ט [=הכי נמי ביום טוב]. וזה נקרא עיקר…
Maharam Chalava Pesachim 106a
Yom Tov [day] does not have kiddush over a cup, unless we say that there is an error in [our version of] the text and it should read “Shabbat and Yom Tov”…Rather, since [the Tosefta] mixes in Yom Tov and teaches it with with Rosh Chodesh and Chol Ha-mo’ed, it sounds like, just as Rosh Chodesh and Chol ha-mo’ed don’t even have [an obligatory] borei peri ha-gafen, so too is the case for Yom Tov. And this [view] is considered the fundamental [halacha]….
16. See, however, Shevet Ha-Levi, who argues that similarities between Shabbat and Yom Tov do not apply to positive commandments. In practice, at the end of his responsum, he leaves the matter as one of doubt, partially in deference to Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav.
שו”ת שבט הלוי ו:סא
אבל לענין מאורעות של יום וחיובים דקום ועשה שלהם כל אחד הוא גדר בפ”ע [בפני עצמו] דגדר שבת לחוד – ויו”ט [=ויום טוב] לחוד וגם אין יום טוב אחד דומה לחבירו לענין מהותו…ולא שייך כלל לענין זכור את יום השבת לקדשו ענין דשבת איקרי יום טוב…
Responsa Shevet Ha-Levi VI:61
But in the matter of the events of the day and the obligations in their positive mitzvot, each one is in a separate category, the category of Shabbat is separate and Yom Tov is separate. Also, one Yom Tov does not resemble another in the matter of its essence…and the matter of Shabbat being called a Yom Tov has no relevance at all to the matter of “remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it”
ויקרא פרק כג
(ז) בַּיּוֹם הָרִאשׁוֹן מִקְרָא קֹדֶשׁ יִהְיֶה לָכֶם כָּל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבֹדָה לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ: (כא) וּקְרָאתֶם בְּעֶצֶם הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה מִקְרָא קֹדֶשׁ יִהְיֶה לָכֶם כָּל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבֹדָה לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ חֻקַּת עוֹלָם בְּכָל מוֹשְׁבֹתֵיכֶם לְדֹרֹתֵיכֶם: (לו) שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תַּקְרִיבוּ אִשֶּׁה לַה’ בַּיּוֹם הַשְּׁמִינִי מִקְרָא קֹדֶשׁ יִהְיֶה לָכֶם וְהִקְרַבְתֶּם אִשֶּׁה לַה’ עֲצֶרֶת הִוא כָּל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבֹדָה לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ:
Vayikra 23:7, 21, 36
(7) On the first day it will be a sacred proclamation for you; all labor of work you shall not do. (21) And proclaim on this very day, a sacred proclamation it will be for you, all labor of work you shall not do, as an eternal ordinance in all of your dwelling places for your generations. (36) Seven days shall you bring a burnt offering to God on the eight day it will be a sacred proclamation for you, and you will sacrifice a burnt offering to God. It is an assembly, all labor of work you shall not do.
Sources
To see these sources in context on Sefaria, click here!
Shabbat Night
שמות כ:ח-יא
זָכוֹר אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְּשׁוֹ: שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים תַּעֲבֹד וְעָשִׂיתָ כָּל מְלַאכְתֶּךָ: וְיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי שַׁבָּת לַה’ אֱלֹקֶיךָ לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה כָל מְלָאכָה אַתָּה וּבִנְךָ וּבִתֶּךָ עַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתְךָ וּבְהֶמְתֶּךָ וְגֵרְךָ אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁעָרֶיךָ: כִּי שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים עָשָׂה ה’ אֶת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֶת הָאָרֶץ אֶת הַיָּם וְאֶת כָּל אֲשֶׁר בָּם וַיָּנַח בַּיּוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי עַל כֵּן בֵּרַךְ ה’ אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת וַיְקַדְּשֵׁהוּ:
Shemot 20:8-11
Remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it. Six days shall you work and perform all of your labor. And the seventh day is Shabbat for the Lord your God, you shall not do any labor, you and your son and your daughter, your bondsman and your maidservant and the stranger that is in your gates. For six days God made the heaven and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; therefore, God blessed the Shabbat day and sanctified it.
דברים ה:יב-טו
שָׁמוֹר אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְּשׁוֹ כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוְּךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ: שֵׁשֶׁת יָמִים תַּעֲבֹד וְעָשִׂיתָ כָּל מְלַאכְתֶּךָ: וְיוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי שַׁבָּת לַה’ אֱלֹקֶיךָ לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה כָל מְלָאכָה אַתָּה וּבִנְךָ וּבִתֶּךָ וְעַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתֶךָ וְשׁוֹרְךָ וַחֲמֹרְךָ וְכָל בְּהֶמְתֶּךָ וְגֵרְךָ אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁעָרֶיךָ לְמַעַן יָנוּחַ עַבְדְּךָ וַאֲמָתְךָ כָּמוֹךָ: וְזָכַרְתָּ כִּי עֶבֶד הָיִיתָ בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם וַיֹּצִאֲךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ מִשָּׁם בְּיָד חֲזָקָה וּבִזְרֹעַ נְטוּיָה עַל כֵּן צִוְּךָ ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ לַעֲשׂוֹת אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת:
Devarim 5:12-15
Keep the day of Shabbat to sanctify it as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days shall you work and perform all of your labor. And the seventh day is Shabbat for the Lord your God, you shall not do any labor, you and your son and your daughter, and your bondsman and your maidservant and your ox and your donkey and all your animals and your stranger that is in your gates, in order that your bondsman and maidservant rest like you. And you will remember that you were a bondsman in the land of Egypt and the Lord your God took you out of there with a strong hand and an outstretched arm; therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to make the day of Shabbat.
שבועות כ:
‘זכור’ ו’שמור’ בדיבור אחד נאמרו מה שאין יכול הפה לדבר ומה שאין האוזן יכול לשמוע
Shevu'ot 20b
‘Remember’ and ‘keep’ were said in one utterance. That which the mouth cannot speak and that which the ear cannot hear.
רמב”ן שמות כ:ח
…כי “זכור” מצות עשה, צוה שנזכור יום השבת לקדשו ולא נשכחהו, “ושמור” אצלם מצות לא תעשה, ש”כל מקום שנאמר השמר פן ואל אינו אלא [ב]לא תעשה” (עירובין צו א), יזהיר שנשמור אותו לקדשו שלא נחללהו…
Ramban, Shemot 20:8
…For “remember” is a positive mitzva, He commanded that we should remember the day of Shabbat to sanctify it, and should not forget it. And “keep” for them [the Sages] is a negative mitzva, for “everywhere that it is said ‘keep yourself,’ ‘lest,’ or ‘do not’ – these are only negative mitzvot” (Eiruvin 96a), He cautioned us to keep it to sanctify it and not to desecrate it…
ספרא בחוקותי פרשה א:ג
זכור את יום השבת לקדשו יכול בלבך?…מה אני מקיים זכור, שתהי[ה] שונה בפיך.
Sifra Be-chukotai, Parasha 1:3
“Remember the Sabbath to sanctify it.” Could it be in your heart?…How do I expound “remember”? That you repeat it with your mouth.
פסחים קו.
‘זכור את יום השבת לקדשו’ זוכרהו על היין בכניסתו:
Pesachim 106a
Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it: remember it over wine as it enters.
ספר המצוות לרמב”ם מצות עשה קנה
והמצוה הקנ”ה היא שצונו לקדש את השבת ולאמר דברים בכניסתו וביציאתו נזכור בם גודל היום הזה ומעלתו והבדלו משאר הימים הקודמים ממנו והבאים אחריו. והוא אמרו יתעלה זכור את יום השבת לקדשו. כלומר זכרהו זכר קדושה והגדלה. וזו היא מצות קדוש….
Sefer Ha-mitzvot, Positive Mitzva 155
The 155th mitzva is that he commanded us to sanctify the Shabbat and to recite words as it enters and as it goes out. We mention in them the greatness of this day and its elevation and its distinction from the other days that precede it and that follow it. And this is what He, may He be elevated, said: Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it. That is to say, remember it [with] a mention of sanctity and magnification. And that is the mitzva of kiddush.
רמב”ן שמות כ:ח
אבל לרבותינו עוד בו מדרש ממלת לקדשו, שנקדשהו בזכרון, כענין וקדשתם את שנת החמשים שנה (ויקרא כה י), שהוא טעון קדוש ב”ד [=בית דין] לומר ביובל מקודש מקודש, אף כאן צוה שנזכור את יום השבת בקדשנו אותו.
Ramban Shemot 20:8
But our rabbis had a further midrash on it [the verse] from the word “le-kadesho“, that we should sanctify it [Shabbat] through remembering, like the matter of “and you shall sanctify the fiftieth year” (Vayikra 25:10), which requires sanctification by the beit din [religious court] to say on the Yovel “It [the year] is sanctified. It is sanctified.” So too here He commanded that we should remember the Shabbat day in our sanctifying it.”
פסחים קיז:
אמר רב אחא בר יעקב: וצריך שיזכיר יציאת מצרים בקידוש היום. כתיב הכא למען תזכר את יום וכתיב התם זכור את יום השבת לקדשו.
Pesachim 117b
Rav Acha bar Yaakov said: And one must mention the Exodus from Egypt in kiddush ha-yom. Here [concerning the mitzvot of Pesach] is written “in order that you remember ” and there [concerning kiddush] is written “remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it.”
גרי”ד סולובייצ’יק, בענין קידוש כמקדש השבת, שעורים לזכר אבא מרי ז”ל, עמ’ 143-144
ישנה, אם כן, לשבת קדושה כפולה: א) קדושת שבת בראשית הקיימת מששת ימי המעשה…ב) קדושת יום טוב ומועד שניתנה לישראל אחרי צאתם ממצרים כמו יתר המועדים…מצות קידוש היום אינה באה רק לספר בשבחו של יום השבת, ולאמר עליו כי הוא מקודש, אלא לקדש את היום….אנו מקדשים את חלות שם מועד מקודש שנמצא בשבת ע”י [=על ידי] מה שאנו אומרים כי הקב”ה [=הקדוש ברוך הוא] ברך וקדש אותו.
Rav Yosef D. Soloveitchick, 'In the matter of Kiddush as Sanctifying Shabbat,' Shi'urim in Memory of my Father and Teacher, pp. 143-144.
If so, Shabbat has a dual sanctity: 1. The sanctity of Shabbat Bereishit, which exists from the six days of doing [of Creation]…2. The sanctity of Yom Tov and an appointed time, which was given to Israel after their Exodus from Egypt like the other appointed times…The mitzva of kiddush serves not only to speak the praises of the Shabbat day, and to say about it that it is sanctified, but to sanctify the day.…We sanctify the instantiation of the name mo’ed mekudash [sacred appointed time] which applies to Shabbat by dint of our saying that God blessed and sanctified it.
Obligation
ברכות כ:
אמר רב אדא בר אהבה: נשים חייבות בקדוש היום דבר תורה. אמאי? מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא הוא, וכל מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא נשים פטורות. אמר אביי: מדרבנן. א”ל [=אמר ליה] רבא: והא דבר תורה קאמר, ועוד כל מצות עשה נחייבינהו מדרבנן? אלא אמר רבא אמר קרא זכור ושמור. כל שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה. והני נשי, הואיל ואיתנהו בשמירה, איתנהו בזכירה
Berachot 20b
Rav Ada bar Ahava said: Women are obligated in kiddush ha-yom as a matter of Torah [law]. Why? It is a positive time-bound commandment, and women are exempt from all positive time-bound commandments. Abbaye said: [They are exempted on a Torah level and obligated] on a rabbinic level. Rava said: But behold he said it is a matter of Torah [law], and furthermore [by that logic] should we rabbinically obligate them in all positive commandments? Rather Rava said: Scripture said “remember” and “keep,” everyone who is included in keeping [negative commandments of Shabbat] is included in remembering [positive commandments of Shabbat]. And these women, since they are included in keeping, are included in remembering.
שולחן ערוך או”ח רעא: ב
נשים חייבות בקידוש אף על פי שהוא מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא…, משום דאיתקש זכור (שמות כ, ח) לשמור (דברים ה, יב) והני נשי הואיל ואיתנהו בשמירה איתנהו בזכירה…
Shulchan Aruch OC 271:2
Women are obligated in kiddush even though it is a positive time-bound mitzva, because “remember” (Shemot 20:8) is compared to “keep” (Devarim 5:12), and these women, since they are included in keeping, they are included in remembering.…
ר”ן שבת קיז:
שבכל מעשה שבת איש ואשה שוין כדילפינן מזכור ושמור את שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה ובכלל זה הוי כל חיובי שבת.
Ran Shabbat 117b
For in every [mitzva] act of Shabbat, man and woman are equal, as we learn from “remember” and “keep,” who [that] is included in keeping is included in remembering and all Shabbat obligations are in this category.
Wine
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:ו
מדברי סופרים לקדש על היין.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:6
To recite kiddush over wine is [obligatory] from the words of the scribes.
תוספות נזיר ד. ד”ה מאי היא
דנהי דקידוש היום דאורייתא, על היין לאו דאורייתא ד”זוכרהו על היין” אסמכתא…
Tosafot Nazir 4a s.v. mai hi
For granted that kiddush is obligatory on a Torah level, over wine is not on a Torah level, for “mention it over wine” is a mnemonic…
ברכות לה.
דאמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי יונתן: מנין שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין? שנאמר [שופטים ט:יג] “ותאמר להם הגפן החדלתי את תירושי המשמח אלקים ואנשים,” אם אנשים משמח, אלקים במה משמח? מכאן, שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין!
Berachot 35a
For Rabbi Shemuel son of Nachmani said Rabbi Yochanan said: Whence [do we know] that we only recite song over wine? For it is said (Shofetim 9:13), “And the grapevine said to them: I have ceased my wine that gladdens God and people.” If it gladdens people, how does it gladden God? From here [we learn] that we only recite song over wine.
ספר החינוך מצוה לא
ועל כן נתחייבנו לעשות המעשה עם היין, לפי שטבע האדם מתעורר בו הרבה שהוא סועד ומשמח…
Sefer Ha-chinuch 31
Therefore we are obligated to do the act with wine, for the nature of a person is aroused within him a great deal when he feasts and makes merry…
Sarah Yehudit Schneider, 'A Tribute to Wine,' A Still Small Voice Blog, 2013
Of the five fruits indigenous to Israel only grapes can be processed in such a way that their “status” increases. When eaten off the vine the blessing we say is the same as for all fruits. But when turned into wine (or grape juice), an exclusive blessing gets said that applies only to it. This is because wine is more than a beverage—it is psycho-active substance and, in fact, the archetype of them all. The path that grapes traverse in their odyssey of becoming wine parallels our cosmic journey of expanding consciousness. Wine, as a mind-altering substance, is Torah’s archetype of enlightened consciousness.
זוהר הקדמה א:א
רבי חזקיה פתח כתיב (שיר השירים ב’) כשושנה בין החוחים מאן שושנה דא כנסת ישראל….חמש עלין תקיפין דסחרין לשושנה ואינון חמש אקרון ישועות ואינון חמש תרעין, ועל רזא דא כתיב (תהלים קט”ז) כוס ישועות אשא דא כוס של ברכה, כוס של ברכה אצטריך למהוי על חמש אצבען ולא יתיר, כגוונא דשושנה דיתבא על חמש עלין תקיפין דוגמא דחמש אצבען, ושושנה דא איהו (שם קל”א) כוס של ברכה, מאלהים תניינא עד אלהים תליתאה חמש תיבין….
Zohar 1:1
Rabbi Chizkiya opened: It is written “like a lily among the thorns.” Who is a lily? This is the congregation of Israel…Five strong leaves surround the lily and these fove are called salvation and they are five gates, and about this secret is written “I will lift up the cup of salvation.” This is the cup of beracha. A cup of beracha needs to be upon five fingers and no more, like a lily that sits on five strong leaves represented by five fingers. And this lily is the cup of beracha. From the second [mention of] God to the third [mention of] God, there are five words…
שולחן ערוך או”ח רעא:יד
אם לא טעם המקדש, וטעם אחד מהמסובין כמלא לוגמיו (פי[רוש] מלא פיו), יצא….ומ”מ [=ומכל מקום] מצוה מן המובחר שיטעמו כולם….והגאונים סוברים שאם לא טעם המקדש לא יצא, וראוי לחוש לדבריהם.
Shulchan Aruch OC 271:14
If the one reciting kiddush did not taste [the wine] and one of those eating tasted a cheekful (meaning filling his mouth), he has discharged his obligation…And in any case the preferred mitzva is that all should taste [the wine]…And the Ge’onim thought that if the reciter of kiddush did not taste [the wine] he did not discharge his obligation, and it is fitting to be concerned for their words.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:י
כל מלאכות שהאשה עושה לבעלה נדה עושה לו, חוץ ממזיגת הכוס, שאסורה למזוג הכוס בפניו על השלחן אא”כ [=אלא אם כן] תעשה שום היכר, כגון שתניחנו על השלחן ביד שמאל…
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:10
All types of labor that a woman performs for her husband, she does for him in nidda, except for: mixing the drink, for she is prohibited from mixing the drink before him at the table, unless she makes a recognizable sign [that she is in nidda], such as placing it on the table with the left hand.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:יג
כשם שאסורה למזוג לו כך הוא אסור למזוג לה; ולא עוד, אלא אפילו לשלוח לה כוס של יין אסור, לא שנא כוס של ברכה לא שנא כוס אחר, אם הוא מיוחד לה; אבל אם שותים הם מאותו הכוס ושתית איהי אבתרייהו, לית לן בה.
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:10
Just as she is prohibited from mixing for him, so he is prohibited from mixing [a drink] for her, and not only that but even to send her a cup of wine is prohibited, regardless of whether it is a cup of beracha or a different cup, if it is especially for her. But if they drink from the same cup, and she drinks after him, there is no [halachic concern] for us.
שולחן ערוך יו”ד קצה:ד
לא ישתה משיורי כוס ששתתה היא. הגה: אם לא שמפסיק אדם אחר ביניהם , או שהורק מכוס זה אל כוס אחר אפילו הוחזר לכוס ראשון…והיא מותרת לשתות מכוס ששתה הוא….
Shulchan Aruch YD 195:4
He should not drink from the leftovers of a cup from which she has drunk. Rema: If no other person breaks [i.e., drinks] between them, or if the cup was emptied from this cup to another cup even if [the liquid] was returned to the first cup…And she is permitted to drink from a cup from which he drank.
רב אלישיב קנוהל, איש ואשה, פרק ז
יניח את הכוס עם היין על השולחן שלא לפניה, והיא תיקח, או מישהו אחר יעביר לה את הכוס. דרך נוספת…ימזוג לכמה כוסות עבור כל המשתתפים בסעודה, ותיקח גם היא את אחת הכוסות.. אין איסור שהיא תשתה מאותה הכוס שהוא שתה ממנה ללא המשלוח המיוחד.
Rav Elyashiv Knohl, The Marriage Covenant, ch. 7 (trans. Kaeren Fish and Eli D. Clark)
Either he may place the cup on the table, not directly in front of her, or someone else should pass it to her. Alternatively, the husband can pour wine into several different cups, and each person – including his wife – can then take his or her cup. Though the husband may not pass his cup to his wife, she is permitted to drink from his cup.
Daytime Kiddush
פסחים קו.
זכור את יום השבת לקדשו – זוכרהו על היין בכניסתו. אין לי אלא בלילה, ביום מנין – תלמוד לומר זכור את יום השבת. ביום מאי מברך? – אמר רב יהודה: בורא פרי הגפן. רב אשי איקלע למחוזא, אמרו ליה: ליקדיש לן מר קידושא רבה. הבו ליה. סבר: מאי ניהו קידושא רבה? אמר: מכדי כל הברכות כולן בורא פרי הגפן אמרי ברישא, אמר בורא פרי הגפן ואגיד ביה. חזייה לההוא סבא דגחין ושתי. קרי אנפשיה החכם עיניו בראשו.
Pesachim 106a
Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it: remember it over wine as it [Shabbat] enters. I only have at night, during the day [is derived] from where? The verse teaches: Remember the day of Shabbat. During the day what blessing does he recite? Rav Yehuda said: Borei peri ha-gafen. Rav Ashi traveled to Machoza. They said to him: Let Master recite kiddusha rabba for us. They gave [the cup] to him. He thought: What is kiddusha rabba? He said: Since with all berachot they say borei peri ha-gafen at the beginning—he said borei peri ha-gafen and drew it out. He saw an elderly man who bent over and drank. He [Rav Ashi] said of himself “a wise man has his eyes in his head.”
בית הבחירה למאירי פסחים קו.
…והרי אף בחול אם בא לשתות צריך לברך כן מ”מ [=מכל מקום] הואיל ועל ידי תקנה הוא בא ברכת חובה היא ומאחר שהיא ברכת חובה אף היא קרויה קידוש שאף היא לכך תקנוה שיהא היום מתקדש על ידו להיות סעודתו חשובה כשהיא נקבעת על היין.
Me'iri Pesachim 106a
…For behold even on a weekday if he is about to drink, he needs to recite this beracha . Nevertheless, since [kiddusha rabba] comes by way of an enactment, it is an obligatory beracha, and since it is an obligatory beracha, it is also called kiddush. For it was indeed enacted for this, that the day be sanctified through it, that one’s meal be important when it is established over wine.
חידושי הר”ן פסחים קו.
אין לי אלא בלילה ביום מנין ת”ל [=תלמוד לומר] את יום, משמע לי דהך דרשא אסמכתא בעלמא היא דאי קדושא דיממא מדאורייתא היכי לא אמרי[נן] אלא בורא פרי הגפן ותו לא, והרי ברכה זו ברכת הנהנין היא ולא מעין קדוש, אלא קדושא דאורייתא דליליא הוא דהוי בכניסתו, אלא משום דכבוד יום עדיף מכבוד לילה ראו חכמים לעשות ביום זכר לקדוש דהיינו בפ”ה [בורא פרי הגפן] ותו לא שהוא התחלת קדוש של לילה, ועוד שלפי שאין אומרים שירה אלא על היין כיון שמברכים על היין בתחלה שלא כדרך שאר סעודות הוי כעין שירה ושבח לקדושתו של יום, ומשום דלא הוי אלא מדרבנן לא ראו להאריך בו יותר כדי שלא להשותו לקדוש של לילה, וקראוהו קדושא רבא לכנוי לפי שאינו עקר כקדוש של לילה וזוטר שיעוריה כדקרי[נן] לסמיא סגי נהור…. דתקנוה רבנן כעין קדוש…
Ran Pesachim 106a
I only have at night, during the day [is derived] from where? The verse teaches “et yom.” This expounding sounds to me like a mere mnemonic, for if kiddush of the daytime is on a Torah level, how is it that we only say borei peri ha-gafen and nothing further? For this beracha is a birkat ha-nehenin [beracha over taking enjoyment] and is not like kiddush. Rather, kiddush on a Torah level is at night, for it is as it [Shabbat] enters, but because the honor of the day[‘s meal] is greater than the honor of the night[‘s], our sages saw fit to make a reminder of kiddush during the day, which is borei peri-ha-gafen and nothing further, which is the beginning of kiddush at night. And furthermore, since we only recite song over wine, since we recite a beracha over wine at the beginning [of the daytime Shabbat meal], which is not the way of other meals, it is similar to a song and praise to the sanctity of the day. And since it is only rabbinic, they [the sages] did not see fit to make it longer, so as not to equate it with the nighttime kiddush. And they called it kiddusha rabba as a nickname since it is not essential like kiddush at night, and its measure is small, much as we call a blind person [euphemistically one of] great light]…For our sages enacted it similarly to kiddush…
מהר”ם חלאווה פסחים קו.
דאין זה קדוש ממש שכבר נתקדש היום…אלא שהחכמים תקנו לקבוע סעודתו על היין ומסמכי לי[ה] אקרא…ומינה נמי דנשים פטורות ממנו כיון דאינו אלא מדרבנן. והכין חזינא בבי רב…בפטור הנשים.
Maharam Chalava Pesachim 106a
For this is not really kiddush, for the day was already sanctified…Rather the sages enacted to establish one’s meal over wine and attached it to a verse….and from it also [we learn] that women are exempt from it since it is only rabbinic, and thus we saw in the house of Rav [Rashba]…with regard to the exemption of women.
פרי מגדים או”ח משבצות זהב רפט
דע, קידוש היום דרבנן, ואפילו הכי נשים חייבות בו, וכמו שכתב המ”א [סימן] רצ”א אות י”א כל מילי דשבת איש ואשה שוין, אף בדרבנן, כל שישנו בשמירה מדרבנן מוקצה ושבותים, ישנו בזכירה דקידוש היום.
Peri Meggadim OC Mishbetzot Zahav 289
Know, kiddush during the day is rabbinic, and even so women are obligated in it, as Magen Avraham wrote in 291:11, in all matters of Shabbat man and women are equal, even in rabbinic matters, whoever is included in rabbinic aspects of keeping—muktzeh and shevutim [rabbinic prohibitions], is included in remembering of kiddush…
שמירת שבת כהלכתה ב מז:ו
אחד האנשים ואחד הנשים חייבים בקידוש בכניסת היום…וכן חייבים בקידוש ביום.
Shemirat Shabbat Ke-hilcheta II 47:6
Both men and women are obligated in kiddush as the day enters [at night]…and similarly they are obligated in kiddush in the daytime.
Yom Tov Kiddush
מכילתא יתרו – מסכתא שבחדש פרשה ז
לקדשו, לקדשו בברכה, מכאן אמרו מקדשין על היין בכניסתו…אין לי אלא שבת, ימים טובים מנין, ת”ל [=תלמוד לומר] (ויקרא כג:לז) אֵלֶּה מוֹעֲדֵי ה’ [אֲשֶׁר תִּקְרְאוּ אֹתָם מִקְרָאֵי קֹדֶשׁ] וגו’.
Mechilta Yitro Masechta She-bachodesh 7
To sanctify it: to sanctify it with a beracha. From here they said: We recite kiddush over wine as it [Shabbat] enters…I only have Shabbat. Whence do [we learn of] Yom Tov? The verse teaches us (Vayikra 23:37), “These are the appointed times of God [which you will proclaim as sacred proclamations]” etc.
פסחים דף קה.
לילי שבת ולילי יום טוב יש בהן קדושה על הכוס…שבת ויום טוב אין בהם קדושה על הכוס…
Pesachim 105a
Shabbat and Yom Tov nights have kiddush over a cup…Shabbat and Yom Tov [day] don’t have kiddush over a cup…
רשב”ם פסחים קה.
אין בהן קדושה על הכוס – כי אם בורא פרי הגפן לבד.
Rashbam Pesachim 105a
They don’t have kiddush over a cup – except for borei peri ha-gafen on its own.
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:יח
כשם שמקדשין בלילי שבת…כך מקדשין בלילי ימים טובים…שכולם שבתות ה’ הן.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:18
Just as we recite kiddush on Shabbat nights …so we recite kiddush on Yom Tov nights…for all of them are Shabbatot of God.
רמב”ם הלכות שבת כט:כא
בליל יום טוב מקדש על היין כבשבת…וכן ביום טוב מקדש קידושא רבא כדרך שמקדש בשבת.
Rambam, Laws of Shabbat 29:21
On the night of Yom Tov one recites kiddush over wine as on Shabbat…And so on Yom Tov one recites kiddusha rabba in the manner that one recites kiddush on Shabbat.
מגיד משנה הלכות שבת כט:יח
ודע שאין קידוש יום טוב דבר תורה:
Maggid Mishna, Laws of Shabbat 29:18
Know that the kiddush of Yom Tov is not a Torah matter.
פסחים קח.
ואמר רבי יהושע בן לוי: נשים חייבות בארבעה כוסות הללו, שאף הן היו באותו הנס.
Pesachim 108a
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: Women are obligated in these four cups, for they indeed/too (af hen) were part of that miracle.
שו”ת רבי עקיבא איגר מהדורא קמא א
רוב נשי דידן מחמירין לעצמן וזהירות וזריזות לקיים רוב מ”ע שהז”ג [=מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמא], כגון שופר סוכה לולב וכן בקידוש יום טוב והוי כקיבלו עלייהו
Responsa of Rabbi Akiva Eiger First Edition 1
Most of our women are stringent for themselves and are careful and quick to fulfill the majority of positive time-bound commandments, such as shofar, sukka, lulav, and similarly kiddush on Yom Tov, and it is as though they have accepted it upon themselves [as a binding custom].
מנחת חינוך מצוה לא
…בקידוש י”ט [=יום טוב] אי נימא שהוא מה”ת [=מן התורה] אפשר שהוא שוה לשבת גם לענין נשים שחייבים אך אם נימא שהוא מדרבנן אפשר דאין נשי[ם] חייבות…
Minchat Chinuch 31
…Regarding kiddush on Yom Tov, if we say that it is obligatory on a Torah level, it is possible that it is equivalent to Shabbat also regarding women, that they are obligated. But if we say that it is rabbinic, it is possible that women are not obligated…
שולחן ערוך הרב או”ח רעא:ד-ה
הקידוש ביום טוב הוא מדברי סופרים ואעפ”כ [=ואף על פי כן] יש לו כל דיני קידוש של שבת לכל דבר…נשים חייבות בקידוש היום בשבת מן התורה וביו”ט [=וביום טוב] מדברי סופרים ואף על פי שכל מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא נשים פטורות ממנה בקידוש היום חייבות שנאמר זכור את יום וגו’ ונאמר שמור את יום וגו’ כל שישנו בשמירה ישנו בזכירה…
Shulchan Aruch Ha-Rav OC 271:4-5
Kiddush on Yom Tov is rabbinic and even so, it has all the laws of kiddush of Shabbat for every matter…Women are obligated in kiddush on Shabbat on a Torah level and on Yom Tov on a rabbinic level, and even though women are exempt from all positive time-bound commandments, they are obligated in kiddush, for it is said “Remember the [Shabbat] day…” and it is said “Keep the [Shabbat] day…” Everyone who is included in keeping is included in remembering…
שו”ת אגרות משה אורח חיים ד:ק
הנה כתב הרמב”ם פכ”ט מהל’ שבת הל’ י”ח…שהטעם שמקדשים ביום טוב מפני שגם הוא נקרא שבתות ה’ וא”כ [=ואם כן] נכלל בזכור את יום השבת לקדשו, ואף אם אסמכתא דרבנן היא כמו שכתב שם המגיד משנה הלא נתקן על מחויבי מצוה של שבת ונשים בכלל…דהא בשביל השמירה ממלאכה נקראו שבתות לכן יש לחייב נשים גם בקידוש דיו”ט [=דיום טוב] אף אם קידוש יום טוב הוא רק מדרבנן…וגם יש ראיה מהא דחייבות בקידוש של ליל פסח שהוא אחד מהארבע כוסות ודוחק לומר שמשונה קידוש זו משאר קידושי יום טוב.
Iggerot Moshe OC IV 100
Behold Rambam wrote in the laws of Shabbat 29:18…that the reason that we recite kiddush on Yom Tov is because they, too are called “Shabbatot of God.” And if so, it is included in “Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it,” and even if it is a rabbinic mnemonic as Maggid Mishna wrote there, was it not enacted for those who are obligated in the mitzva obligations of Shabbat, and women are included…for on account of the keeping from [performing] labor they were called Shabbatot. Therefore, one should obligate women, too, in kiddush of Yom Tov, even if kiddush of Yom Tov is merely rabbinic…And there is also a proof from that women are obligated in kiddush on the night of Pesach, for it is one of the four cups. And would be forced to say that this kiddush is different from the other kiddushes on Yom Tov.
תורת רפאל צ
אבל נראה די”ל [=דיש לומר] דגם בקידושא דיו”ט [=דיום טוב] נמי נשים חייבות דהא כתיב מקרא קדש יהי[ה] לכם כל מלאכת עבודה לא תעשו. וא”כ [=ואם כן] אמרינן כל שישנו בכל מלאכת עבודה לא תעשו ישנו במקרא קדש יהי[ה] לכם וכדאי[תא] בפסחים (דף מ”ג) כל שישנו בבל תאכל חמץ ישנו בקום אכול מצה.
Torat Refael 90
But it seems that one can say that also regarding kiddush of Yom Tov women are likewise obligated, for it is written “it will be a sacred proclamation for you, don’t do any labor of work.” And if so, we can say all that are included in “don’t do any labor of work” are included in “it will be a sacred proclamation for you” and, as it says in Pesachim, “whoever is included in [the mitzva of] not eating chametz is included in [the mitzva of] eating matza.
שמירת שבת כהלכתא ב מז:ו
אחד האנשים ואחד הנשים חייבים בקידוש בכניסת היום, בין בשבת ובין ביו”ט [=ביום טוב], וכן חייבים בקידוש ביום…
Shemirat Shabbat Ke-hilcheta II 47:6
Both men and women are obligated in kiddush, whether on Shabbat or on Yom Tov, and similarly they are obligated in kiddush during the daytime.
Q&A
Sometimes a quick exchange communicates more effectively, and more personally, than an article. Sometimes, just seeing that others share our questions can make us feel more connected.
Our posted questions and answers are an opportunity to learn from each other. To ask a question of your own, click here!
Hashkafic Q&A
How should women relate to kiddush?
We’ve devoted a lot of space on Deracheha to discussing women’s options for voluntary mitzva performance when women are exempt from a mitzva. Some of these mitzvot, like reciting Shema or hearing shofar, have been widely accepted by many women in many communities for generations. In these cases, despite women’s technical exemption, the mitzvot are perceived as belonging to everyone, since women so often have the merit of fulfilling them.
Kiddush occupies a different space. It is a mitzva in which women are fully obligated, and yet it is often perceived or treated as a men’s mitzva. The roots of this perception are clear. Public recitations of kiddush are generally made by men, and it is customary for a man to recite kiddush in the home.
But women are fully obligated in kiddush, and not every household has a male member of bar mitzva age. Even in homes in which a male of age resides, it is not a given that he will make kiddush.
Sometimes the perception that kiddush is a men’s mitzva is so strong that a woman hesitates to make kiddush for herself. This made some sense when literacy rates among women were low. It makes less sense now as women’s literacy has grown. A woman or group of women should feel comfortable making kiddush for themselves — whether they are students in a midrasha, new mothers in a maternity ward dining room, members of an all-female household, or women whose husbands haven’t yet come home from shul on Shabbat morning. And, because she is obligated, a woman can discharge a man’s obligation in kiddush. (We discuss women’s discharging men’s obligation in kiddush in practice here.)
Halacha does not dictate how we should feel about a woman making kiddush. Some women may savor the opportunity to recite kiddush, while others, especially those divorced or widowed, may find it emotionally difficult. Regardless of how a woman might feel about reciting kiddush, it is critical for all members of our community to recognize that the mitzva of kiddush is fully obligatory for women. That means that we should all do our best to help ensure that women can fulfill the mitzva of kiddush, whether by hearing or reciting it.
Reader Q&A
Podcast
Click here to sponsor this episode!
