Questions (104)

Sometimes a quick exchange communicates more effectively, and more personally, than an article. Sometimes, just seeing that others share our questions can make us feel more connected. Our posted questions and answers are an opportunity to learn from each other. Keep in mind that each questioner’s situation may be unique, in ways that affect the halachah. Even the tone of a question can affect the tone of an answer.
Question
Why quote difficult sources?
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I had trouble with two of the sources here, the mishna and the midrash. You definitely made an effort to discuss the issues, but why quote them at all?
How do shifts in how Torah is transmitted affect women?
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In the introduction, you say there's been a change in the transmission of Torah. There's less reliance on custom and community and more on texts. What are some examples of how this affects women?
Why do women say birchot ha-Torah?
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If women are exempt from the mitzva of learning Torah, why do we say birchot ha-Torah?
Why the Babylonian Talmud?
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You said in your first article on studying Torah: "Since the Babylonian Talmud incorporates both scriptural passages and Oral Torah, Talmud study plays a central role in fulfilling the mitzva of talmud Torah." I see the source in Sanhedrin (and the T...
Can roles switch for the three mitzvot?
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You say being around more at home is a rationale for women's priority in the three mitzvot according to Rav Hai and Rambam. If that's true, and my husband is a stay-at-home dad, does he get priority lighting candles or separating challa?
Timing of Shema and Ha-mapil
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When should I recite Shema and Ha-mapil if we are planning to be intimate?
What prayers can I say while I'm nursing?
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Is there a make up prayer?
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What should someone do if she misses praying?
Can I eat before davening in the morning?
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You talk about complementary roles, but you don't say what they are?
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What is the source for group hafrashat challa events?
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Should a husband set up the candles for his wife?
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Kaddish at bat mitzva siyyum
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My daughter and I will be completing a masechet of Gemara and are planning to make a siyum at her bat mitzva celebration. There will be at least 10 male guests. After she says the hadran, should the Kaddish be recited and by whom?
Kippah Fall
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Is using a kippah fall to cover one's hair supported by the sources?
Imahot in Shmoneh Esrai
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I would find it meaningful to add the imahot into the first beracha of my shemoneh esrai. Is that permissible?
Woman makri'a shofar?
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Can a woman be the one who tells the shofar blower in shul what to blow?
Girls and an'im zemirot
Can girls lead an'im zemorot?
If you get up at night to deal with children, do you have to wash your hands first?
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Is there a כלי גבר issue with women carrying guns for self-defense purposes?
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In a Rav Moshe Feinstein tshuva (אורח חיים חלק ד, סימן עה), he permits women living in yishuvim to carry pistols for self-defense purposes and because pistols are generally not used as כלי זין. Can one derive from that that pistols are never an issue...
Passing Torah to women
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Can the Torah be passed into the women's section at shul?
Tefilla Be-tzibbur for Women
What is your conceptual understanding of the significance of Tefilla B'tzibbur for women, where women aren't technically part of that tzibbur?
Line in Birkat Ha-mazon Seems Strange for Women
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Hi - I've always wondered how women can say the following line in benching: "al brischa shechasamta bevsarenu" - on the covenant that you circumcised on our flesh. Obviously this is not relevant for women, why is this included in our benching as well...
Beracha on costume?
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I'm dressing up as a chassid for Purim and I plan to wear tzitzit. Should I make a beracha when I put them on?
Mechitza at a simcha?
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What are the varying halachot (and sources) for a mechitza at a simcha? What is the halachic difference between an L-shaped mechitza and one down the middle at a simcha? Also separate vs mixed seating at a simcha?
Women's minyan
I would like more detail regarding women's minyan. What are reasons behind attending? leading the tefillah What is the halachah connected, and authorities who are for and against?
Head-covering over video?
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I'm in quarantine for COVID-19, and on zoom video conferences from home a lot. Do I need to have my head covered?
Keriat Shema al Ha-mita
is a woman obligated? If so or not so, what should she actually say?
Zimmun Text
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Would you have the text for the Zimun for women? Is this a subject to which you could turn your attention in the near future? Thank you very much for your great work!
Leaving out hair in a bun
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Whats the halachic basis for leaving out the hair tied up into a bun at the back with a mitpachat (scarf)?
Uncovering hair in public space, but with only women present
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Does the obligation to cover your hair in public apply regardless of whether men are around? For example: if you are in a friend's apartment with only women, or if you are in an office building but having a private meeting with another woman, and the...
Pants on Hike
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Is there a halachic problem with wearing pants on a hike?
Sefirat ha-omer
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Should women count sefirat ha-omer?
Eiruv Tavshilin
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Can I make my own eiruv tavshilin? What does it involve?
Mechitza at home
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We've been davening together as a family? Do we need a mechitza?
Why separate siblings at prayer?
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Curious to understand the reasoning behind saying males and females above bar and bat mitzva age should sit separately when it comes to siblings, in your discussion of prayer as a family at home. (Here.)
Husband seeing wife's hair at prayer?
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Is there an issue with a husband seeing his wife's uncovered hair during davening or Shema?
Bat Mitzvah
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Why don't fathers recite ברוך שפטרני at their daughter's bat mitzvahs? Is this a brachah just for the father or should a mother also be saying the bracha at her sons' bar mitzvahs? Do we assume all the sins of the son goes to the father (and not the ...
Wearing pants around the house
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Am I allowed to wear pants around the house infront of my parents and siblings since I am not leaving the home? Can I wear pants while doing tefillah and learning Torah at home?
Manicure in the three weeks
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Can I get a manicure during the three weeks or nine days?
Tzitzit for women - nature of exemption
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I understand that, due to the positive obligation of tzitzit, it would be better for a man not to wear a four-cornered garment than to wear one without fringes. I also understand that, under the right circumstances and with the right intentions, wome...
Siyum
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What's the status of a woman's siyum? Is it "legitimate" enough to allow eating meat during the 9 days? And I guess can you discuss women's siyumim in general in halacha, saying kaddish, etc...
Haircovering in front of extended family
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Should a married woman cover her hair in front of extended family members (father, brother, uncle, grandfather, father-in-law)?
Tznius in front of Family
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Women do not need to dress tzniusly in front of other women, but they do need to dress tzniusly in front of men. Given the above, it seems obvious to me that a woman's male immediate family members (brothers, father, and sons) would not be included i...
Shofar blowing
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Can a woman blow shofar for someone else on Rosh Hashana?
Brachot after giving birth
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Should a woman say Shehechiyanu or Hatov vhametiv after giving birth? or only her husband? What if she is not sufficiently dressed to make a bracha until after the baby has been taken to the nursery?
Birkat Ha-Gomel
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Is there any preference for the baby to be present when saying hagomel? Is there a way for the husband to say hagomel on behalf of his wife since a minyan is required?
Breastfeeding and tzniut
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Can I breastfeed in shul? Can I breastfeed in public places generally?
Language of Benching
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Hi When we bless our children in bircat hamazon, we say "זרעי"-- literally "my seed." Is that really appropriate for a woman to say? Clearly this language was formulated for men who their children are really their seed. For women, is there no other t...
Kiddush Levana
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I have been learning about kiddush Levanah and wanted to know if you think women can or should say it.
Customs After Marriage
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Is a woman obligated to take her husband's custom after getting married? Is it a traditional thing or an obligation? Should an ashkenazi woman who marries a sefaradi guy change her way to pray, her rabbis /poskim and all her family traditions to adap...
Men Lighting
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My daughter and I just listened to the podcast about the 3 women’s mitzvot. She was wondering if a widower has an above bat mitzvah age daughter living at home, who is obligated to light the Shabbat candles? If men should also light candles, why when...
Women and the Army
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Hi, In light of more dati leumi girls drafting into the army, I am curious about the halachic and hashkafic considerations one should take into consideration. Specifically the difference between non-combat units such as modiin (intelligence) and comb...
Leaving before Zimmun
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In the past when we did such things, I often went to various synagogues for Shabbat dinner and [usually] to hear a speaker. When my grandchildren were young, we had the custom of benching after the main course, and then saying a before and after bles...
Purim Meshulash
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I live in Yerushalayim and I usually participate in a women's megilla reading. Looking ahead, this year is Purim Meshulash. How does this work if Covid doesn't interfere?
Women making Motzi
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When we first got married, I used to make Hamotzi. For some reason I stopped. I want to explore the sources again. I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Recording of Megillah reading
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Due to Covid I will be reading the megillah, for myself, at home this year. I have arranged to borrow a scroll. I have never "leined" before. Can you provide me with a link to a megillah reading with which I can read along?
Reciting Final Beracha on Megilla
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If one follows the Tzitz Eliezer and R. Ovadia, that 10 women together say all 4 Brachot, beginning and end, and if different women are saying the first and last perek, does the woman who says the first 3 brachot say the last, or the woman who reads ...
Where to find Kosher Sheitals
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Hi, I've been curious for a while but never knew who to ask. I'm worried if I ask a sheital macher that they will think this question is rude or judgemental. But I'm really only wonderig for myself, I am not judging someone else who wears a sheital. ...
Shabbat Erev Pesach
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Can you give me a rundown of what i need to do this year when erev pesach is a shabbos?
Hair Covering in a Private Yard
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Hello! The Rav of our shul recommended that I read through your articles on Hair Covering and I am so glad that I did! I have signed up to your email list and feel so glad that you are sharing such wonderful Torah in English! We recently moved apartm...
Mikveh in a long-time relationship
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I live in a long time-relationship, having small kids. As me and my partner progress in keeping the mitzvot, we wanted to start keeping the taharas mischpacha too. But my problem is - since we are not married (and we will not marry in a near future d...
Drasha by women in Bet Knesset
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Thank you for the wonderful site. What is your opinion about women speaking in Bet Knesset. Is there a difference whether she speaks in the middle of Tefila, before Adon Olam, or completely at the end? Thank you!
Kol Isha during Niddah
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When a wife is in her yemi nidda, is there a restriction of Kol Isha? Thank you!
Tzeniut with Daughter in Locker Room
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Q: While I realize one should try to be as tzanua as possible, is there an actual prohibition to be fully naked in a women's pool changing room or communal shower? And is there any specific concern for mother and daughter to see each other naked in s...
Women Observing Ta'anit Bechorot
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My husband's a firstborn and I have a firstborn son. For the record, I'm a firstborn myself. Do I need to fast on Ta'anit Bechorot?
Mixed Swimming
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What's the halacha of mixed swimming in tzanua attire?
Singing on Video and Kol Ishah
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There's a video of me singing that I'd like to post on youtube. I'm dressed tzanua but singing solo. Is it okay for me to post it publicly? Do I need to add a warning label saying that it's kol ishah?
Why do married women cover their hair?
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Al hamichya
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Are women obligated in al ha-michya?
Spiritual experiences
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Hi, I have always felt that Kaballat Shabbat was an experience that recharged me spiritually. Recently though I have not been able to attend because my kids are not allowed to enter the Shul due to Corona guidlines. I wanted to ask if you at Deracheh...
Shofar in a group of women
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Hello and shanna tova, In a situation where there are only women would it be more ideal for each woman to blow for themselves or for one woman to blow for them all. Would it be appropriate for each of them to recite a blessing for themselves or one w...
Head covering in front of non-jews
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Is there a difference in the obligation for a married women to cover her hair in front of a non-jewish man? If you were on holiday in a place where there were no Jews would you be allowed to have your hair not covered?
Leaving strands of hair out of hair covering
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If a newly married women wants to keep the halachot of hair covering strictly is she able to leave strands of hair out at the front that frame her face? Does it depend how long they are etc?
Dressing in a tzanua manner in front of son's friends
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I have a seven year old son. At what point do I need to dress in a tzanua manner when his friends come to our house?
Music During Exercise in the 3 Weeks
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Can I go to an exercise class that uses upbeat music during the Three Weeks? What about the Nine Days? Is there a difference if it's a class where the instructor chooses the music, or a video I chose from Youtube? What about listening to music while ...
Clothes Shopping in the 3 Weeks
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Can I buy clothes during the 3 weeks? I have a wedding shortly after Tish'a Be-Av, and definitely won't have time to buy my dress then.
Havdala on Tisha Bav
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For medical reasons, I'll need to break my fast on the morning of Tisha Bav. Can you walk me through havdalah?
Holding baby while davening
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Are there halachot about holding a baby during davening? Does the age of the baby change things? Is there a difference when using a carrier, especially a back carrier? Are the halachot the same for men?
Women reading the Torah for women
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Hello, Thank you for the wonderful site. I would like to know what your opinion is regarding women reading the Torah just for women, without "Birchot Ha-torah" (but stopping at every aliya and reciting certain pesukim instead). This isn't a halachic ...
Tying Head Covering on Shabbat
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Hello Derecheha! Beezrat Hashem I am getting married soon and I had a question about head coverings: is it permissible for one to tie a headscarf on Shabbat? If so, is there a certain way which is ideal regarding the amount or type of ties? Thank you...
Kol Isha in Chinuch
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How does kol isha work with chinuch? For example, if I am davening/ bentching with my children and e.g. my father in law is present. Or running children services in shul with men present.
Zniut and Work Clothes
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Good evening! I regularly wear only skirts and outside the home, I always have a hat or other head covering. Since I'm also working as a junior doctor in a hospital (western Europe), at work I have to comply with the work clothes that the hospital pr...
Tzniut When No Jewish Men Are Present
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Are there any leniencies to the laws of tzniut in public (including dress, hair covering and kol isha) when no Jewish men are pesent? Do the laws of tzniut apply when in the presence of non-Jewish men as well?
Make up kiddush for daughter
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Hi, I have a question about daughters. I'm not sure if it's applicable to your site but I thought I'd send it anyway. My daughter was born just before lockdown nearly 2 years ago and we couldn't have a kiddush for her. Many people have said to me it'...
Candle-Lighting when Mom's Away
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I'm preparing towards leaving the country for a few months, while my husband stays here. We were trying to figure out shabbat candle lighting while I'm away from home. I usually light 6 candles, but sometimes when not home I light only 2. Our daughte...
Community norms- short sleeves and hair sticking out in back
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I grew up charedi, however I now live in a community in Israel where many married women wear short sleeves and leave their hair out in the back. I want to know if this is okay halachically and what I need to be aware of while doing this. Or is this a...
Hair in Front of Sheitel
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I wanted to ask about showing a tefach in the front. It's become quite a widely accepted trend where I live to measure a tefach, but then to comb that front section over the top of your sheitel or band fall, so you're showing the full length of it. I...
Sheva Berachot and women
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When a small group of family and friends arrange a meal for sheva berakhot, may a woman say one of the berakhot, assuming that there is a minyan of men and panim hadashot at the meal? May women be the panim hadashot?
Hair covering on family vacation
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Hi! I'm going to be staying with my husband's family in a house for two weeks on vacation. We are all married couples. I wanted to know what the halacha is in that case regarding hair covering? Thank you!
Teaching tzniut to my 9 year old daughter
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Please give us some guidelines to better teach our 9 year old daughter. Her teacher always comments that her skirt is too short. She does not show enthusiasm in keeping most halachot. Plus she is aware that I dressed "less tnius" when I was her age. ...
Are the halachot of a Beit Midrash applicable to a beit midrash where exclusively women learn Torah?
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Insofar as a beit midrash is considered to have a certain elevated level of kedusha (SA 90:18, Megillah 27) and certain applicable halachos, is this also the case for a beit midrash where all of the learners are women?
Exercise Classes
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Hi! Can I go to an exercise class that is mixed? I am going to wear tznius clothes, but when exercising and jumping your skirt can fly up, and you are in weird positions as well.
Women's Torah Learning-Protective Effects
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Insofar as the zchus (merit) of Torah learning is considered to have protective effects for am Yisrael as a whole and therefore often especially encouraged in times of turmoil such as now, does this apply to women's Torah learning too? Does women's T...
Ashkenazi Practice with Chanuka Candles
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Hi and thank you for the great article on chanuka lighting. In the paragraph regarding lighting as mehadrin, your write "This makes it difficult to understand common Ashkenazi practice, that in households with adult male members, it is customary for ...
Weapon for Self Defense
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Is it permissible for a woman to carry a weapon for self defense? Is this a violation of the prohibition of keli gever?
Can I travel for work in shana rishona?
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Hello, I'm in my first year of marriage and frequently need to travel abroad for work for a couple of days each while my husband stays in our hometown. I read that this is halachically not allowed if the husband is the travelling one (except for a mi...
Wearing Red
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Hello! Do you have, or could you please give, an overview of the restriction on wearing the color red? Underlying basis, relevant factors (shade of red, amount of red on clothing, community norms, etc.)? Thanks so much! Love your work!
Neckline
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Can you provide me with sources on the parameters for the height of a neckline on a shirt or dress?
Photo album with hair uncovered
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I have many pictures I love of me with the kids with no head-covering. Can I use them in a yearly album I make of family pictures? The album will primarily be for us to look at, but extended family and guests may also view the pictures. In some pictu...
Is proposing with a ring chukat ha-goyim?
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Proposing with a ring when it's not part of kiddushin seems to be superfluous (like getting down on one knee). Why do so many frum Jews do it? Is it permissible?
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